aag

3rd Jun, 2008

Drift

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In the midst of falling asleep, I heard a cat’s claws clicking across the tile floor. Happy as I am to have these slippery rapscallions sharing my house, I miss the cats who passed out of our lives earlier this year.

My mind drifted. I recalled the previous kitties’ proclivity toward regurgitation, which grew much worse as they aged, and wondered sleepily why the current cats showed no such inclination. Was it a function of age? Were these cats less furry?

Or were they saving it up for some opportune time, so as to express their extreme displeasure more magnificently?

What was that thing called, I drowsily asked myself. That thing, that formed in the stomach as a mean-ass ball of hair, and in some cases required surgical extraction? I could picture it in my head, hirsute and twisted, but the word would not stand still long enough for me to grab hold.

Ah, it was just beyond reach of my half-asleep mind. I knew the word had a “z” in it. “Shizzle” sprang to mind, but I was pretty sure that had little to do with hair.

I ran through all the various cerebral filing cabinets that might hold the word. Was it filed under “hairy things”? No. How about “objects surgically extracted”? Not there. “Intestinal oddities”? Nuh-uh.

Doesn’t everyone have a mental filing cabinet labeled “intestinal oddities”? No? Really? My file of “intestinal oddities” is simply packed with interesting information!

I let my mind wander as I sank closer to sleep. It meandered through the circumstances that would bring on those hairy concretions and the creatures in which they could be found. Human, goat, cat…

Ah, finally the correct file came up. Wild hogs. The word I needed was filed under “wild hogs,” which makes perfect sense as the word in question was bezoar.

These are the thoughts that pass through my mind. And I think now I’ve made it perfectly clear why my book proposal languishes unfinished.

I’m just too busy.

Posted by: aag

Categories:

think

Responses

In humans, they apparently can be caused by consuming too many persimmons on an empty stomach. (My filing cabinet is pretty large.)

By: duck on June 3rd, 2008
at 12:38 am

I know! Persimmons! In’n that something?

By: aag on June 3rd, 2008
at 12:43 am

Hey…your filing system sucks! Just like mine!

By: Rupert on June 3rd, 2008
at 1:49 am

Ah, but what a book it will be when it is finished.

May I say, aag, that there is something amiss in your recent Twittering about smelling like a wart hog. I envision you as rammish, as in a rammish woman, a sturdy virago. Correct me if I am wrong, but you are a virago, aren’t you?
;-)

By the way, were those the claws of a ram cat clicking on the tile floor?

Correct on all counts. But I still think I smelled like a warthog. :) –aag

By: Kochanie on June 3rd, 2008
at 3:40 am

Wow. You learn a little everyday!

Now I’m wondering and somewhat obsessing how I’m going to use and apply this brilliant new learning.

My file system isn’t too much different than yours, which surprisingly doesn’t surprise me. It’s nice to know there’s a girl out there who shares that nerdiness factor., even if she’s always aroused. *Especially* if she’s always aroused!

By: Diggger Jones on June 3rd, 2008
at 9:01 am

Are you speaking of moderation?
I am unclear on that concept…

Oh, sure. Then why are you keeping my comment in Moderation Hell? It’s dark in here, and I keep on bumping into these scratchy things. This is probably where you keep your bezoar collection.

:-\

By: Kochanie on June 3rd, 2008
at 9:42 am

An actual word for nasty hairballs! Bezoar. I love coming to your class everyday, aag. Whether it’s hairballs or hairless balls, I learn something new each time I come in! :)

By: nitebyrd on June 3rd, 2008
at 9:58 am

Isn’t it fabulous to have a head full of useless information? I can remember the kid who sat beside me in 1st grade and the name of Gomer Pyle’s girlfriend, but change the furnace filter? Not so much….

By: Mountain Girl on June 3rd, 2008
at 12:39 pm

*scurrying off to change the furnace filter, thnks*

By: aag on June 3rd, 2008
at 1:29 pm

… I was not expecting that picture (the one from wiki). Damn… now it’s stuck in my head DX (in the “shit shaped shit” cabinet).

I like kitties… but I’m allergic to most of them D: I’ve yet to find a kind I’m not ;_;

By: Gabriel on June 3rd, 2008
at 3:45 pm

According to the wiki entry, bezoars “…were formerly sought after because they were believed to have the power of a universal antidote against any poison.”

Seems kind of silly that the felines would feel the need to rid themselves of such a terrific panacea.

Silly cats. :)

By: nash on June 3rd, 2008
at 4:31 pm

You say your “intestinal oddities” file is packed? So sneaky. Better packed than impacted, or does that go under “objects surgically extracted (worst case)”.
For me, bezoar is in a file with a hive and an angry swarm, I hope that’s not what your cats are considering. Of course it’s also in an alphasyllabetical file right after the color of a clear sky. I should get rid of some of these files, they don’t appear useful. Maybe it’s the system…

By: Ulysses on June 3rd, 2008
at 4:39 pm