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At the point I began receiving engagement and wedding presents, apparently I was giving off the vibe of one who would be attending a surfeit of potluck dinners.
I was given this casserole dish and an entire bleeding set of these. All of them have covers colored a deeply disturbing shade of brown. Some of the casseroles came with cunning insulated jackets meant to keep beans steamy or salads chilly during minivan rides. These dishes over the years have bred a nest of tiny offspring whose purpose is leftover storage or (perhaps) the transportation of quantities suitable for fairies.
Because of all-consuming concerns over e. coli, food allergies and terrorists, these dishes haven’t had much opportunity to live out their intended destinies. They’ve served up food at home, but only very rarely have they ventured into public life; even then, “public” has only been as far as friends’ houses.
Obsessive cleaning overtakes me at odd intervals. Recently I attacked the kitchen cabinets with my heart set on purging accouterments of married life. I threw out and donated so much stuff. Oatmeal that only the ex ate. Cookie sheets that had seen better days. A set of glasses I’d always abhorred.
The casserole dishes ended up on the counter, victims of the purge. If my massive family of casserole dishes rarely ventured out of the cabinets when I was part of a couple, how much less use will I have for them now?
Preferential treatment at an orgy so infrequently depends on the entrant bearing a covered dish.
I want them out of my house. My former partner and I occupied opposite ends of the acquisition spectrum. He’d be happy to live in a house packed with clutter while I prefer a more minimalist approach. Why should I manage ten-thousand dishes I don’t find beautiful or useful? Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep only the few I truly love?
To that end, I’ve farmed out a number of these casseroles to a friend who has a family larger than mine. I’ve still got a few waiting for a home.
Wanna own a part of The Dismal Marital History of AAG?
Just drop me a line.



