15th Apr, 2008

Casserole

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At the point I began receiving engagement and wedding presents, apparently I was giving off the vibe of one who would be attending a surfeit of potluck dinners.

I was given this casserole dish and an entire bleeding set of these. All of them have covers colored a deeply disturbing shade of brown. Some of the casseroles came with cunning insulated jackets meant to keep beans steamy or salads chilly during minivan rides. These dishes over the years have bred a nest of tiny offspring whose purpose is leftover storage or (perhaps) the transportation of quantities suitable for fairies.

Because of all-consuming concerns over e. coli, food allergies and terrorists, these dishes haven’t had much opportunity to live out their intended destinies. They’ve served up food at home, but only very rarely have they ventured into public life; even then, “public” has only been as far as friends’ houses.

Obsessive cleaning overtakes me at odd intervals. Recently I attacked the kitchen cabinets with my heart set on purging accouterments of married life. I threw out and donated so much stuff. Oatmeal that only the ex ate. Cookie sheets that had seen better days. A set of glasses I’d always abhorred.

The casserole dishes ended up on the counter, victims of the purge. If my massive family of casserole dishes rarely ventured out of the cabinets when I was part of a couple, how much less use will I have for them now?

Preferential treatment at an orgy so infrequently depends on the entrant bearing a covered dish.

I want them out of my house. My former partner and I occupied opposite ends of the acquisition spectrum. He’d be happy to live in a house packed with clutter while I prefer a more minimalist approach. Why should I manage ten-thousand dishes I don’t find beautiful or useful? Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep only the few I truly love?

To that end, I’ve farmed out a number of these casseroles to a friend who has a family larger than mine. I’ve still got a few waiting for a home.

Wanna own a part of The Dismal Marital History of AAG?

Just drop me a line.

Responses

Is it coincidence that ‘body part’, ‘hand’ and ‘people’ are keywords for that ticket-to-an-orgy casserole?

That’s odd, because I’ve never been to an orgy that didn’t involve a potluck. One of my favorite bits was always standing around after a round of playtime and exchanging recipes while half-dressed…

Wow—those are homely dishes. Reminds me of church potlucks I endured in my childhood. The brown glass covers whisper, “caution: greasy 3-bean salad lurking below.” And the ugly “country living” designs add to the ambiance. Congratulations for purging them from your life!

“Preferential treatment at an orgy so infrequently depends on the entrant bearing a covered dish” <- LMFAO at this line.

In all seriousness though, good on ya for getting rid of them. Sometimes a clean out is just what the doctor ordered.

Lucy

Ps - you didn’t really talk the casserole dishes up that much to make them sound appealing for us to want. lol

I quite like a three bean salad, actually, but it should definitely err on the side of vinegar rather than oil.

It is odd the way the brown lids gently nudge the casseroles from “pleasingly homely” all the way down to “yard sale”, isn’t it?

While ugly, I agree, I use similar dishes to store leftovers in the refrigerator and to microwave stuff. But why keep them if you hate them? I absolutely agree.

My experiences with house parties/orgies have all involved food as well. One of my favorite memories is lounging around the play room with 10 or so other scantily clad/nekkid people, sex swing in use/on display, and enjoying the food provided by the hostess and guests before plunging back into the festivities.

Cooking rarely interests me anymore. My casserole dishes are at Goodwill.

Orgies are SO much better than pot-lucks anyway.

Let me point this out:

I never said that there was no food at the parties I attend, just that I don’t get any extra benefits based on what I bring.

:)

I have one four-piece set of lovely French White that has never left my house.

I find I get a much better reception with a good bottle of wine…

Don’t be so hasty, aag. Once your kiddos are all in school and you’re asked to send food for every freaking stage of the moon, you can use these and not fear that they won’t be returned!

D

Ok, is it bad that what I got out of this post is that there’s also FOOD at orgies??

Man…. I never have ANY fun!!!

I see that no one is burning up the emails to request one of these dishes.

Hm. Odd.

:)

Hell, if you’ll sign the bottom with a sharpie (”Best of Love! — AAG” would do nicely?) I’ll take one.

Tell me who to paypal for shipping. =D

A dozen years from now when your second best seller is published, some friend of mine will read the bottom of the dish and proclaim “That’s not /THE/ AAG, is it?” and I’ll be able to say in all honesty I helped you clean out your cupboards during your blossoming years. :)

We’re all waiting to hear your grand plan to off-load those dishes so we can follow suit to get rid of ours.

My set of 3 has a lovely purple iris pattern and clear lids, plus a plastic freezer lid. Barely used. Any takers?

Dear Iron,

If you can give my poor dish a home, I’ll be happy to sign it anything you want.

Email me.

:)

I got married in June and also received a shitload of Corningware (that we did not register for). People think it’s all useful and whatnot, but it’s a pain to have to return five of the six sets you received.

And isn’t purging your home of things you don’t want/need/use anymore just the loveliest feeling once you’re done?

Yes, yes, yes, a million times yes!

oh man i have this problem plus

i’m the poor single hand me down friend….

oh yeah AND?

i break lids…

*sigh*

Hideously ugly, but useful if you do leftovers and casseroles… I am not one of these people.
Since you’re cleaning house, check freecycle.org. There may be one in your town. Barring that, check with your local Habitat for Humanity store to see if they take housewares. My guess is they do :)

Got any Chafing Dishes?…I could use a good chafing dish………

See, “amber” lids remind me of the all glass amber colored containers my family had growing up. We used them to store soups, mashed potatoes, pasta, etc, but never cooked in them. However, they re-heated quite well in the oven, and I think the color of the lid might have had something to do with it .

However, while I love to make Auflaufs in casserole dishes, I don’t think I can handle the print pattern…

But thanks, good luck!

I would love one of your dishes> Im one of the weirdos who actually like old school cookware. Plus it would be super if you could sign the bottom for me too. just let me know ow to et you the shipping money.

Ah, I should have posted it…they are all gone!

:)

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