In the interest of good will and fiscal economy, I volunteered to do the taxes for my soon to be ex-husband and myself. We needed to file as married people, as we are still legally married, and while a less thrifty woman might have suggested a trip to a professional, neither pride nor stinginess would allow me to do so.
Before the envelope was even sealed on our taxes, a friend asked for help in preparing her tax information. She manages an obscenely successful home business; she saves receipts obsessively so that she can claim the maximum amount of deductions for expenses related to her business.
Between doing my own taxes and organizing my friend’s outrageous piles of receipts, it dawned on me that I should begin planning for the future.
Next year I’ll file as a single person. I’ll have deductions based on children and owning my home. But I’ll also have income from my various lines of work — income that will not have had taxes taken out before coming to me.
Additionally, I’m going to have more and different expenses when once I’m out from under my stb-ex’s protection. Health insurance, for example, which soon I’ll be paying for myself.
I’ve long kept track of income with a handy little database. Now I suppose I’ll need to keep track of anything I spend in relation to the work I do.
My laptop just died — I suppose I can count the new one as a business expense, right? Hosting fees? Home office? Payments for health care? Possible travel to San Francisco for BlogHer this year? I need to do some research on the legality of deducting these things.
But it’s my understanding that many things related to one’s line of work can be counted as business expenses. So theoretically, if I purchase sex toys, I should be able to write them off, eh? And if I ever manage to buy a new bed, that should count too, right? And lingerie? Lube? Condoms?
How about the cost of attending sex parties? Would that count as a business expense? It’s “research,” or “entertainment,” right?
Right?
I think you’ll find that all of that is answered “Yes”. If you can make a reasonable case — or even a weak one! — that it is related to an active business, it is deductible.
I’m around several people who are independent contractors. Heck…they talk about work at lunch, then deduct the lunch completely.
Sure, I’m not a lawyer or tax professional.
And they have never been audited in the ten years I’ve known them.
Best of luck on your tax prep!!!
The answer is yes to all of the above. I don’t know the fiscal laws in the US, but I bet that they are similar to the ones in Canada.
When I ran my financial company from home, as a self-employed worker, I could deduct phone, internet, part of the rent that was taken up by my office, laptops, computers, media (dvds, cd) [I could do this because my business was registered in communications primarily], cars etc. For cars, it’s best to lease because you can declare a large portion of it.
Eating out is also something you can declare and put through as business lunches. It all depends on how much money you make.
A few years ago, I got tired of trying to figure out what I could declare. I got myself a good person do do my taxes. She’s not an accountant and she charges only 50$ for both of us, as we declare as a married couple.
My taxes have never been so low.
I’d strongly recommend consulting an accountant or expert on the situation. You might save thousands in the long run by using their specific knowledge.
range’s last blog post..Night Aerial Photographs
Hey AAG… if I’m still here in July (which I may be, if I get into Stanford) — let me know. we could meet up or something for coffee. No pressure. :)
Greyor’s last blog post..the destruction of Night
AAG –
I am a CPA and would be able to field some specific questions for you on the taxes as you have them.
I’m picturing you explaining how a butt plug is a business expense to an IRS auditor…
Rupert’s last blog post..Something…
I think the sex toys and parties would only be deductable if you write about them.
So keep up the good work.
Damian’s last blog post..Oh the humidity!
There’s an extremely hot short story called “The Last Deduction” by Alison Tyler about a tax audit (no, really!) which covers those last questions of yours.
It’s at http://www.goodvibes.com/Content.aspx?id=1045&leftMenu=35&lr=y or Violet Blue read it once in her podcast — (http://tinynibbles.com/audio.html, it’s episode #8). Check it out, it’s way sexy.
Depends if you can wholly claim that the sex toys are only for business and not personal pleasure. So that’ll mean you can use them but not come. But then if you don’t come, you’ve not used them properly.Mmmmm…. saving tax on orgasms! Love the idea!!!! lol
Even if those expenses aren’t deductible, think how interesting the audit will be when you have to explain the nature of the expenses.
Haaaaaaa
Sounds good to me. Just have to convince the IRS.
in canada you can write off most of that…
i can write off yogawear because i need it to teach in… it’s in the nature of a uniform… and all my car repairs and large chunks of my rent and and and
but yeah i’d say take mr. cpa up on his offer…. and ask your friend for a few bucks toward your life for doing her taxes
badinfluencegirl’s last blog post..oh?
So theoretically, if I purchase sex toys, I should be able to write them off, eh? And if I ever manage to buy a new bed, that should count too, right? And lingerie? Lube? Condoms?…How about the cost of attending sex parties? Would that count as a business expense? It’s “research,” or “entertainment,” right?
Yeah, right (smiles sardonically).
I would not recommend that you provide too much detail in the description of your business expenses. Juicy line item descriptions such as “Lingerie, lube, and sex toys” would be read by most IRS examiners as a coded message that translates into: Audit me, baby.
Correct me if I am wrong, aag, but I never got the impression that you were into pain.
Kochanie’s last blog post..Loss For Words
Whoredom has put me in this position for years. Find a good, openminded, liberal accountant- it’s vital with a home business. You won’t have some of the same considerations as I did, but, still…many of the things you might claim could be construed as personal.
Personally, I think the bed…way iffy, unless it’s only used for sex and not sleeping, and even then it would depend on the IRS auditor’s mood that day if they would allow it. I wouldn’t claim the parties…or if I did, I would not call it entertainment as that’s a red flag.
Learn the IRS “red flags”…for instance I decided it wasn’t worth writing off a “home office” expense because it draws too much attention (not necessarily your concern, but be sure you know the rules as there are tons of them). Watch your phone expense claims. The IRS rules are funny…I thought a gym membership would count as I had to be in shape…but I was advised against it because even cops can’t. Or pedicures..there, too…it was suggested to not go there, but that a dancer could. They have formulas and lists of acceptable things for different jobs, but there are no hard and fast rules, just how much do you want to ride the edges?
But yeah….save all receipts. Mileage is a huge one- the best. Get thyself a small notebook and write down dates, miles at start, miles when done and a note on what it was for…trip to the store to buy that computer, going to the store to get lube (which should have it’s own receipt so it looks like you specifically went to the store for that), driving to a bookstore to buy a sex book. Save toll receipts; when you travel-cabs. Watch the food expenses as the IRS figures you have to eat anyway. Find out the rules and stay under the radar.
Save all medical receipts- drugs, co-pays. Childcare.
In the end, the worse thing you have to worry about is if you get audited..and then it’s only a drag having to pay more money.
Oh..and also…You can do an amended return for the years you haven’t included all these expenses in your past returns. Gotta have receipts, but if you do it an be a chunk of change you are entitled to.
And one more thing: I think you get tax breaks for your orgasms, gal, cuz you’re that special and you write about them.
Contact me if you want to talk more.
Gillette’s last blog post..Tantra Workshops 2
Tax breaks for orgasms???
Ya think?
OMG that would be awesome…
Thank you!
Yes, Yes & Yes….
and if you claim at least one of the children, you’ll be claiming Head of Household, not Single… BIG difference! =)
Really??????
God I love you guys.
I think in order to get the tax break for orgasms, you have to pay for the orgasms… or pay for the “tools of the trade” which helped you have the orgasms..
AND, then you have to write about them
… not just “ooohh.. ohhhh.. ohhhh.. that was good”
.. more like “that was one of the best orgasms. Probably a 9.5, much better than the orgasm with Product X, and just a little short of my top-rated Producy Y, which got a 9.6. I’m still searching for the Perfect 10.”
To summarize, “ooohh.. ooohh” sounds like pleasure aka entertainment, while “9.5″ sounds like a critical evaluation… definitely “work”.
Sensitive Man’s last blog post..Sensitive Man Urges- “Give a Laptop, Get a Laptop”
At one point in my life I was changing several things.. nature of work, going to school, marital status… For me the thing that worked was to go to a tax accountant who is expert in IRS small home business regulations (not all are) and pay for an hour of her time to discuss all issues you raised and others she/he might think of.. I did my own taxes, but I had a clear understanding of what was “edgy” and what was commonly accepted, what the potential red flags were, and so on.
If you decide to go this route, I would suggest you prepare, in advance, as clear as possible a list of questions and possible deductions, and of course you will need to know how to calculate certain things.. for example, in general home offices are a much abused issue and they are a red flag… so be clear what the regs are.. I know there is an IRS publication on that topic.. A bed, for example, absolutely not..
In my opinion some of what other readers have written is not acceptable.. so the question is whether you are selected for audit, or not.. Of course you will also want to start filing quarterly tax returns (you can’t wait until next year, generally, though I believe it is still the case that the very first year you change over you won’t have a penalty if you don’t .. you will want to be clear in this). I made a practice of setting up a separate bank account and putting 25% (or whatever marginal rate you think appropriate, since you will have to pay 12% or whatever it is now self employment social security tax as well as state tax as well as federal tax.) of all income into that account so I was not surprised at tax time.. another reason to pay quarterly … definitely required after the first year..
dude that story about the last deduction was awesome… thanks!
badinfluencegirl’s last blog post..oh?
Y’all knew I was just jokin’ about the lube, right?
And the condoms? And the bed?
JOKING! HYPERBOLE! NOT SERIOUS!
:)
Y’all knew I was just jokin’ about the lube, right? And the condoms? And the bed?
Joking?
I kid you not.
You are a writer.
You write about sex.
You conduct research and write about your findings.
You need supplies when you perform research in the field.
Or in the meadow.
Or on the beach.
Or…
Kochanie’s last blog post..Loss For Words
Yes, yes, yes. Everything should count.
sexkitten’s last blog post..MY GIRLFRIEND IS THE CULPRIT
I was going to say, beware of tax advice from people not living under the same tax laws as you.
But through the comments here, I’ve realised that you’re not living in the UK as I’ve been thinking since I found your blog. (Your FAQ confirms it although non-US people probably wouldn’t understand ‘upper midwest’. It’s meaningless to me.)
How could I have been mistaken all this time? This changes everything! :) The light during the day is different, your accent is different, and the society which you live within is different. Your view upon the world must be different, although we’re privileged to read so much about it.
What a bizarre moment. Fortunately, nothing really has changed. :)
Maybe I do live in the UK.
Maybe the whole “Upper Midwest” thing is just an elaborate ruse so that my Brit pals won’t know it’s me.
Have you considered that, Griffyn? :)
My brain hurts.
If you don’t mind, I’ll still believe you’re in the UK then. It’s less work on my poor brain. :)
Maybe you need a team from PriceWaterhouseCoopers to comb the cabinets looking for deductible items. They also could prepare business plans with charts and graphs. They could let you know how to grow your business and show what drives it. You could then finally have a Business Plan for Buttsex.
Now, don’t get me all worked up – you living in the UK? :o)
I suppose that ‘Upper MidWest’ would be somewhere like Shrewsbury or Oswestry – that’s about four hours by road from London ;o)
It’s Shrewsbury, but don’t tell anyone, m’kay?
:)
I’m too tired to read everyone’s responses, but for the serious part of your post–I’d recommend at least talking to an accountant who works with freelancers. You do know you have to file paperwork to the IRS four times a year (every quarter) as a freelancer or you have to pay a big fine for not doing so at tax time, right?
Miss Syl’s last blog post..No. Fucking. EDITORS.
(That is, unless you’re working with a freelance agency that deducts your taxes from your wages for you. But if that hasn’t been done…quarterly.)
Miss Syl’s last blog post..No. Fucking. EDITORS.
If you need help evaluating your insurance options…let me know. I doubt I’m licensed in your state, but I am in others and can at least help give you some ideas of what to look at.
And everyone’s right about the deductions. I think you can deduct more than you think you can.
DH’s last blog post..Feelin’ Frisky
Hey if strippers can deduct their boobjobs, why can’t you deduct these things. :)
(You should be able to do so for the most part given who you contract for and the writing).
Ha AAG, I’m going through this right now. I spent the afternoon wading through a box of receipts and the like for my own little business – finally getting my taxes in order – I’m claiming “samples” as expenses and do you have any idea what the freight on 55 kilos of stainless steel is!
Orgasms are tax free as far as I’m aware – I’m using them to reward myself for sticking with the mind numbing paperwork – it offsets or counteracts the effects of the RSI from overuse of the calculator!
ell’s last blog post..The Romance of a Great Big, Black, Cock-Like Dildo
Some tax principles:
Basically, anything which is used entirely for business purposes is deductible, but you have to keep receipts and accurate records.
(Things used partly for business and partly for pleasure are partly deductible, and you have to figure ridiculous proportional stuff. There are funny rules for “converting” something which is considered a capital asset from business use to personal use, but that only applies to capital assets.)
For a *clear-cut* example which I know many people actually do, if you buy a sex toy for the purposes of *reviewing* it in a review, and your business includes writing reviews of sex toys, then the toy is 100% deductible. At least in the US. (And since you can’t really resell it when you’re done reviewing it, keeping it for personal use doesn’t cause any tax problems either.)
If you attend a sex party for the purpose of writing about it on your blog (assuming writing on your blog is a for-profit business for you — that’s actually a very important IRS rule) then yes, the costs of attending are fully deductible.
So yeah, you are going to be able to deduct a lot more than you think.
This is not formal legal or accounting advice, you get what you pay for, don’t sue me if I’m wrong, etc.
FYI, I’m assuming Miss Syl is referring to “Estimated Tax” with the reference to quarterly filings. It’s very important to get it right, or you pay nasty penalties. If you don’t want to keep your accounting up to date every single quarter (you have to keep it up to date at least once a year, of course), you can pay estimated tax using the “safe harbor” rule where you pay based on what you owed *last* year. Also, if you can’t keep track of the quarterly deadlines (they aren’t *exactly* quarterly, frighteningly), the IRS doesn’t mind at all if you pay early (pay all four quarter’s estimated tax during the first quarter, for instance), and then you don’t have to do the other filings. Not financially efficient, that, but if you have a poor memory for those things….