At three o’clock in the morning, I awoke to an overripe tomato bursting into flames in my lower belly.
I high-tailed it to the bathroom, but peeing did little to relieve the burning pressure. The feeling was familiar. I recognized it from many occurrences when I was a child, as well as another one during pregnancy, which I failed to catch because of the already intemperate pressure from my child’s ginormous head swiveling back and forth against my pubic bone.
There was nothing to be done at the ungodly hour of three a.m. but to ponder what had brought me to that point. Bad luck? Possibly.
But it also could have been that 48 hours earlier, two friends held my legs spread wide while a third made me scream with the application of a vibe to my clit, a dong in my pussy and another one in my ass. I screamed around the cock of one of the men holding me down; I spit him out each time I needed to come.
I spit him out quite a lot. Somehow, he didn’t seem much to mind.
It was a short but shockingly intense session. Only the fact that a party raged next door kept the police from being called. I don’t think I’ve ever been louder. It was great fun.
Two of the toys used belonged to me, and I’d cleaned them immediately beforehand. The other toy belonged to my friend. She’d thoughtfully covered that toy with a condom. There was no oral sex performed on me, nor was there any intercourse.
We practiced the safest sex any four pals could have practiced; nevertheless, it’s hard to imagine that the episode had nothing to do with my fiery tomato bladder.
Due to time and child care issues, fifteen excruciating hours passed between the time I caught fire and when I finally swallowed the first antibiotic. During this time, I had ample opportunity to contemplate my bladder’s place in the universe. Suffice it to say that my bladder occupied the central and most vital position. At the end, searing pains shot out from a tender-hot, swollen fruit that throbbed in my vitals.
I was never so happy for effective, cheap and readily available medicine.
I decided that one simple step could have prevented this malady. In the future, not only will I carefully wash each and every implement used to pleasure me, but also I will strap one of these to my midsection. Anyone wishing to partake in the festivities — including me! — will henceforth be required to avail themselves to the product before diving in.
That should work, eh?
Ah, you poor thing! I am inordinately prone to bladder infections as well. It doesn’t take much sometimes, just the friction of anything on the end of the urethra can do it… so sometimes there’s just nothing you can do!
I keep uva ursi (liquid) and D-Mannose powder on hand. You can put them both in water and drink it every couple of hours and it will seriously help lessen the symptoms (I can most of the time get rid of the infection with these alone.) I also keep Uristat on hand for that initial awful pain!
Just some hints from an old pro…
M
Wow. I’m reminded of the times I would induce a bronchial asthma attack as a child by eating ice cream (I had a dairy allergy back then). Sure it sucked to have trouble breathing the next day. . .but it tasted /so good/.
An additional hint to add to minxxa’s (as one of my girlfriends is prone to them as well) which you probably already know: drink water before a session, and drink enough immediately after to induce you to pee ASAP. This tends to help for her at least.
Sorry about the bad bit of news there, yeowch is all I can say. Have a hug! It makes most things better anyway, or at least tolerable. *HUG*
My job puts me in constant contact with the office populace at large… all day…I have to touch their stuff too. So on my desk, is a Industrial sized bottle of that stuff. I use it every 15 minutes it seems.
I am not a germaphobe… I am a peopleaphobe.
PB Zoom’s last blog post..Have to be short tonight…
Always pee after sex! Hope this clears up soon.
Lolita’s last blog post..SPLF Recap
I did pee! And I washed! Before and after!
:)
Cranberry tablets are good prophylatics, and cranberry juice also relieves symptoms – maybe keep some bottles in the cupboard?
My My…its come to that…sanitizing products!
Hmmm, damned UTIs!
I don’t know if this would work for everyone, but the last time i got a UTI i killed it early with the juice of half a lemon squeezed into warm water. The lemon helps alkalize your pee (and your whole body) which makes it harder for the bugs to live. I felt the burning early in the small hours, had the lemon water at breakfast time (and no coffee or milk till lunch), drank lots all day and by evening i didnt have it any more.
That was the first time ive tried it, but i will certainly be doing it again next time.
j-ster’s last blog post..DON’T STOP ME NOW!
During this time, I had ample opportunity to contemplate my bladder’s place in the universe. Suffice it to say that my bladder occupied the central and most vital position.
Nothing says misery like a bladder infection.
After one marathon session of sex, I developed a severe case of hemorrhagic cystitis. Scary when your urine is reddish purple.
Get well soon, aag.
Kochanie’s last blog post..HNT – Giving the Shirt Off My Chest
I feel your pain! I get UTIs like it’s my job. My preventative tips have already been listed here: pee immediately following sex and take cranberry supplements daily to keep your urinary tract healthy. And I second taking Uristat until you can get an antibiotic (even though it turns your pee a really creepy orange color!).
Hope it clears up soon, because those things are a bitch.
Britni’s last blog post..So Much For Progress
Oh man… not fun :(
Cranberry juice, tablets, pee, wash up with something mild…
Owch… :(
Aw!!! I think every woman here feels your pain! I’ve never had kids (which I’ve heard can be pretty unpleasant!) but the UTI I had was by FAR the worst pain I have ever experienced in my entire life!!
I worked with a urologist whose mantra was…”A woman should go no longer than two hours without emptying her bladder…a woman should go no longer than two hours without emptying her bladder…a woman should go no longer than two hours without empyting her bladder.” The pH of the urine helps keep the nasty little buggers from taking hold and emptying that frequently assures the helpful urine is flushing out the urethra regularly.
It’s a good habit to form. I used to get UTIs very frequently. I don’t know if it’s circumstance or his advice, but I don’t seem to get them now and haven’t for years. I believe it has other health benefits as well. That and I hop up immediately after sex and empty my bladder.
I know you’re a busy mom, but a little two-minute vacation in the bathroom isn’t all bad now, is it?
N.
Also…may I jump on my antibacterial soapbox for a minute?
Our overuse of antibacterial soaps and antibiotics in general is encouraging the evolution of more and more resistant strains of bacteria such as MRSA and VRE…think “only the strong survive.” What works today will be totally ineffective tomorrow. In our obsession with sanitation, we are creating “superbugs.”
I recently had an outbreak of boils that it took five courses of increasingly stronger and longer antibiotics to cure. Every day at the clinic I see MRSA cellulitis, MRSA skin infections, MRSA pneumonias. We’re killing ourselves clean.
Whew…got that off my chest. I feel better now. Back to our regular perving.
N.
You have my immense sympathy.
I once surprised my GP by getting a UTI. I still don’t know how. What I do know is it was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life and I’m only glad that men are not usually prone to them …
Ro’s last blog post..Love it or hate it …
Eek, you poor thing.
But I love the new idea for a sexy accessory.
owie! i’ve never had a UTI or BI. thank god! knocking on a woody..er…wood.
nenasadije’s last blog post..confessionizer
*clenches with sympathy*
i had some herbal powder form my mum that works a treat at the first sign of stinging. I know what it is like tho’ when the childcare situation means you don’t get around to helping yourself out – but i’m sure the fun was worth the discomfort :)
bittersweet me’s last blog post..HNT/very personal pleasure
one: please don’t use antibacterial crap, we need some germs in our lives to keep our immune systems working AND we don’t need any more superbugs
two: warm bath with apple cider vinegar alleviates the symptoms somewhat… weird but true
three: UNSWEETENED cranberry juice, sugar feeds the uti and most cran juices are thus useless… make sure it’s pure and not mixed with other sweet juices also
four: if you aren’t prone to yeast problems have beer
five: take either live yogurt or live acidophilus/lactobacilus if you are taking antibiotics to give yourself back the regular flora in your digestive tract or you will get a yeast infection from the antibiotics
six: keep uva ursi tea around for those times when you can’t get to the doc
seven: oh honey i hear you, i’ve had something like ten bladder infections in the last eighteen months AND three of them involved bloody urine… so i feel your pain.
eight: latex condoms give me uti’s … try non-latex… and watch the spermicide/built-in lube
*hugs*
badinfluencegirl’s last blog post..rumble
How can there have been a dong in your pussy and another in your ass without intercourse occurring? Are not the insertion of cocks in those orifices the very actions which the word intercourse was designed to describe? Just curious.
Erm.
No penises were involved in the pelvic region.
:)
My laid back cowboy buddy, Philo Barbital, tells me that at his sex parties, on the range, sanitary concerns often arise. Hell, out there, sometimes the animals just stroll into the barn just to see what all the comotion is about.
He told me that any excess hand sanitizer could adversely what he calls, “the lady parts”. Philo got smarts and just keeps an extra bottle of Jack around. It works great on a variety of applications: sex toys, gun shot wounds, amputations, and the like.
Hand sanitizer is a good idea but beware, that stuff is murder on sensitive skin or a cut. I don’t know how it would feel if any were to transfer to the nether region.
Er.
Y’all realize I was just joking about the hand sanitizer.
Right?
:)
No. I take everything you say quite literally and write it all down. In my secret room, I keep an AAG timeline where I post all that I write down. Next to that are thirty miliion pictures that I clipped out of blpgs and crudely pasted, at odd angles, onto the wall.
*trembling in fear*
Er.
Y’all realize I was just joking about the secret room.
Right?
:)
You were?????
Ah, damn, I’m so disappointed!
All this time without even one serious stalker!
:)
Oh, you wanted a stalker? Well, I supposed I could oblige. I’ll try anything once.
We’ll have to get a few formalities out of the way. Will you sign a stalker consent form? My insurance guy says I need it. All the other good stalkers have them and well, I am a best practices kind of guy.
Um…
Dumfounded…
My work is done here… Sated I am. haaaaaaa
Do drop by if you have a chance, I’ve been working hard (maybe not smart) for your weekly round up.
Hope I have something for you…
I’m just laughing at the visual of that dispenser strapped to you! Please tell me you’d use duct tape.
Of course I would!
:)
hey, this post is kind of gore…
well, anyway it might as well happen that your infection had nothing to do with your pleasurable activities…
Cheers!
Gore?
Whatcho mean?
Lol, like a gore movie…
Never mind I was just kidding.
Very happy to have found your blog anyway, I luv it. And this will make you laugh maybe but I found it as I was surfing the web for Obama…
Obama led you here?
Inneresting…
:) Glad to have you Dreroguru!
“Obama led you here?”
Yup, this proves once more that he’s a great leader…