Toddler: Mommy, where we goin’?
Me: We’re running errands, baby.
Toddler, louder: Mommy! Where we goin‘!
Me: Errands, honey. We have to take in the recycling, and then do some other things.
Toddler, pointing at random vehicles: Y-cy-clin? Is that ycyclin?
Me: No baby. Recycling is trash.
Toddler: Ohhhh ycyclin is trash!
**brief pause**
Toddler: Then we go home, Mommy?
Me: Pretty soon baby.
Toddler, louder: Then we go home, Mommy!
Me: Pretty soon, baby!
Toddler: You keep saying that!
Me: You keep asking that!
**brief pause**
Toddler: Mommy, let’s play a game, ok?
Me: Ok, let’s play a game!
Toddler: What game, Mommy?
Me: Let’s play the “Be Quiet Game.”
Toddler: How we play that game, Mommy?
Me: Whoever is quiet for the longest wins!
Toddler, with doubt: Okay…
Me: Start…now!
Toddler, immediately: Did I win, Mommy? Can we play again?
______
If you ever chance upon a bright-green mini on your travels through a mid-sized Upper Midwestern town, you should give it plenty of room, as its driver is very likely focused on things other than just the road.
You know… sadly, I always won the “Be Quite Game” game myself. And I tried and tried to lose.
I was looking at pics of my teens just tonight, actually, when they were that age… It brings a lump to my throat… they were such innocent babes.
Who stole them and gave me teenagers in their stead? Bring back my babies!
PBZoom
OMG! I played that very same game with my 2 boys!!! I LOVED the quiet game. It actually worked with my kids and they were quiet for good periods of time. Of course it was their competitiveness, but whatever it took, I was happy it worked!!!
Oh lord I tried the quiet game with my sons today and it didn’t even work for 5 seconds. Seems at school now the quiet game includes picking someone else to be it after 30 seconds so they just can’t understand how to play it for real. Though today they couldn’t stop screaming at each other long enough to hear me telling them to play it anyways. Your blog seems to have been the highlight of my day these last few weeks. Hope you have a fantastic day.
Brings back memories, I used to call my son, “The Shell Question Man”, because he asked so many questions when we were out in the car.
You know, AAG, you don’t need to take your recycling in. That’s what the neighbor’s lawn is for.
Haaaaaaa
Bonus points for the Princess Bride pic & clip.
Your toddler’s questions do bring to mind my childhood, when I’d get in dad’s car after school and ask, complete with overly dramatic sigh, “how many stops?” (that is, errands).
What I noticed was that the toddler said home.
Y’know, that’s a transcript of why it is I don’t want children. I’d kill them, as I lack the patience to be a parent. Good thing I’m not.
One toddler? Amateur! You should try two small boys in a fit of sibling rivalry, with a little sister egging them both on. On a long journey, hopefully.
Our version of the game goes something like this:
“Silence in the jungle
Silence in the court
The biggest, fattest monkey
Is about to talk
Starting from … NOW!”
The record is 22 seconds.
Oh – and the car? Excellent taste. I have this dream of driving mine to Turin one day, just so I can zoom around talking like Michael Caine …
Insanity is hereditary……..you get it from your kids.
Cute. The Be Silent game is my fave with any child.
We call it, “Who Can Be Quiet The Longest?” Unfortunately I always win.
You might want to check out Coping With the Caveman in the Crib.
That’s fucken brilliant! ***off to practice now… -aag***
This is why you are ideally suited to help inexperienced adults find the right sex toy.
Sigh.
Memories.
If it’s any comfort, I had the same frustrating conversations as a single parent, and you do survive them. Mine is in his 30s now, suffering the same conversation himself on the other end. It’s your only real revenge – living long enough to see that.
are we supposed to concentrate on driving??
hmmm…now that’s a thought! :)
AAG,
Isn’t “Y-Cyclin” one of those new antibiotics?
J.
my “favorite” is when they learn the correlation between the numbers on the signs (i.e. the speed limit) and the speedometer…nothing like being nagged by the conscience in a car seat!!
Kids are fun to be with especially with their curiosity and with their unstoppable repeating questions. LOL
I wish I could tell you that would improve.. but it doesn’t
you drive a bright green mini?
That = teh awesome. So many points!
LOL, so good. Kids kill me.
Just wondering how you fit this into the rest of the content of your blog – file it under “premature ejaculation” I suppose…
Made laugh though which does me a lot of good.
It’s been a long time since I’ve ONLY talked about sex around here.
:)
Haha! I played that game with my four, too. The last time we played it, the boys had been bickering for the prior fifteen minutes. I announced we were playing The Quiet Game, and that the winner would get a prize.
Three seconds later, the chatterbox of the group announced “Okay. I’m out.” and immediately started yakking again.
My wife and I laughed so hard we cried.