Lately I’ve been palling around with a woman I met on my pervy little dating site.
No, not like that!
Well, maybe a little bit like that.
In any case, we’ve found that our current life situations are similar, to the point that we are both raising children of approximately the same ages. Recently we got our kids together for a little play date at my house, and I tried to convince her to come to a more public play date held by a mommy group that I’ve belonged to for years.
She wanted to come, and I wanted her to come, but we couldn’t figure out how we’d explain to people how we knew each other. The other mommies involved know me. They’ve known me for ages. The wouldn’t be satisfied with the answer that we were “old friends” or that we’d met through a mutual friend. They are my mutual friends!
And I can’t very well tell them that I met her when my partner at the time was planning on fucking her silly, and then later I spent a half-hour leaving bruises on her husband’s cock while she sucked on my nipple.
Can I?
So…we’re flummoxed. Does meeting a mommy friend on a pervy dating site spell doom for the idea of having a public relationship?
Here’s how I’d do it:
“We met on an internet sex site. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Make sure your laughing is way over the top.
okay that’s funny
alternately… online scrabble or ebay or something lame like that. i’ve added a fair number of people to my friends circle from things like blogs, irc, web forums etc…
Ebay….
Yeeeeessssss!
I’ll tell ‘em I met her when I was purchasing a liter of silicone lube…
You could both come in from separate doors at the mommy play place, and you could graciously go and befriend her… being new and all she will need a friend.
oh wait.. why do your kids know each other so well? ah, you know how kids just click, right?
naa, wouldn’t work… go with the Internet sex site, and the laugh as suggested by “A”… but, keep a sly grin :D
Having a secret life that no one knows about can be a bitch… (fun, but a bitch)
DaNewb
Any chance of a line such as “We met at a party and found we had many things in common”?… though what type of party (work/church/neighborhood/kids school) would obviously depend on what the others know already.
I agree with them. The internet sex site is a winner. XD
Well heck if it was me I would say we met on Pogo.com lol. I actually know lots of people that play there and I live in a pretty small town.
You met at Chuck E Sneezes. Where a kid can be a kid with every other kids germs.
struck up a conversation in the line at starbucks/the grocery store/etc? maybe it’s just my friendly appearance (read as: i look 16), but people talk to me all the time on transit and whatnot. or randomly message me on facebook…but that’s mostly restricted to once and future boyfriends (the last and the current). :D
synopsis: LIE. and then, yay, public relationship!
It’s less taboo now but still. I’d say that you were just hanging out at a park this summer and met because both of your kids were playing and got to talking and became friends BUT both of you were really busy and couldn’t hook up too often. Needless to say you managed to meet for coffee and kids play every once in a while and think she’ll be perfect for your group. Isn’t she amazing, she is isn’t she.
We met in the produce section while looking over the zucchinis.
Agreed with Snowbunny…Go with the “Our kids were playing together at the playground at ____ park. Or something like that. Or…well, I don’t know the other mommies in your group, so I don’t know if they’d be horribly, irretrievably scandalized by a recounting of your escapades, but you could tell the truth.
Hi AAG,
Simple– “we met at a Tupperware party.”
No one’s gonna ask for details, cuz no one wants to come.
Uh, no pun intended.
XO
Chuck
How about we met:-
At the theatre or cinema
At an art gallery or museum
In a bookshop
In a coffee shop??
I liked Chuck’s idea .. any home-sell party would give you a decent cover .. but then you have to invent a back story for the party. Hmmm. Perhaps just meeting in the park might be simpler. It is quite tricky manoeuvring a girl friend from secret to real life as meeting online, from any forum, still has a whiff of peculiarity.
I was going to suggest you meet at the park when your kids played together too, very simple and innocent. Keep it simple, and people quickly forget. Make it an involved story and people get intrigued and want to know more.
However, the totally over the top “We met at a sex party” with wild laughter is really too good an opportunity to miss!!! Go for it!!!!!
how about going one week and saying ‘hey guys, i met this awesome woman at starbucks (whatever) the other day and i really think she’d fit in well with our group, in fact we’ve already had a playdate and the kids get along like a house on fire
just shorten the history…
jackie has a great point too
You could say anyone of a number of things, like you mt at the pediatrician’s waiting room. The other moms will be more suspicious your self-consciousness than any detail in the story you tell them. I have always contended that it’s not so much what you say as how you say it. Be relaxed and introduce her around and you’ll be fine.
I’ll give you the line that I use when I don’t want to disclose what’s really going on: “Life’s full of many mysteries. Often these mysteries go unresolved in the course of everyday events.” When asked what that means say, “Nobody knows.” Then walk away.
Haaaaaaa
We met at the library, grocery store, coffee shop, a mommy chat room. Glad you found her though.
I agree with all. Just lie. You strike me as a friendly enough person that it wouldn’t be unusual or shocking that you’d make a friend while both reaching for the last honeydew at the grocery or something. :)
“…a whiff of peculiarity…”
Heh.
:P
I like the met online, but on yahoo.com or something equally random. You don’t have to invent pasts, or try to concoct a huge story or anything, then when you say “we hit it off online” you won’t be lying. This words especially well if she’s from out of town or something. Why would she have come way over here to go to starbucks or play at the park?
I know this situation well- my boyfriend and I met online on a stupid video game (MMORPG? yeah that doesn’t sound monumentally dorky at ALL). So I just tell people that we met in Vegas while on business, which isn’t entirely too much lying because we did meet in Vegas (face to face) for the first time and we WERE there for a conference (of the internet gaming variety).
So try to give as few details as possible and people will tend to think what they want to think.
I would just say we became friends as couples and stayed friends afterwards.
KISS
Peace
I would just say we met online; can’t remember exactly where anymore…
Seriously, why is it any of anyone’s business? I don’t think it would ever occur to me to ask a question like that.
i agree with finn. who are these friends of yours that they would grill you about a new friend? these days to say, “we met online”, seems totally plausible and non-pervy. although, i LOVE the idea of your friend saying “we met online” [big pause] “on a swingers site! bwahahahahahahaha”. one, i think that would endear her to the group and two, they’d totally think it was a joke and move the hell on.
Of course you owe no one any explanations if you don’t want to give them. You could just say, “I met her around,” and not say any more than that.
But if you want to make up a story that sort of indicates you met online and you want more details, just say you met through comments on an online parenting site and started to email back and forth or something. Or, if you both have a friendster or myspace page that is NOT linked to the sex site, just say you started corresponding through that or something.
When people ask me how I met some people I bet through the blog, I’ll just say, through some online forum or newsgroup or other. Sometimes I’ll even say it was through a comment I saw him or her make on a blog (I just don’t say it’s his/her or my blog). People rarely ask a follow-up question.
And of course, there’s always the truth. What’s wrong with meeting through an online adult site?
I am racking my brain for what we used to say when explaining running into someone from my SAA meeting in a straight setting. It happened once at church and the other guy handled it beautifully. I think it was a friend of a friend line, but it was more succinct than that.
I thin you just have her stalk the group, show up at the mommy place, act like she doesn’t know you and blend into the group.
Of course if the group doesn’t warm to her, that could be awkward.
P.S. I am quite sure she will feel much more comfortable meeting the group if she wears a modest skirt sans panties for the big meeting. At least that’s how I picture it going.
I have a good girl blog. I tell people I met my friends through that.
I tell folks I met my new friend R. in the SF airport. It’s random enough they believe it.
Just tell ‘em. I bet a third of them won’t bat an eye or will give you that “uh-huh, of course” nod (no, really).
blame (or credit) the kids … tell them you met at the clinic, or better … the ER!
Jen and i met because we were on the same local moms yahoo group…she had a potluck and i showed up…we became fast friends, and have been together for 4 years…
surely it could have happened to you too… :)
peace…
I have some urban friends I took a tip from – whenever I don’t want to give too much info I just say it’s my cousin. If they ask too many questions, just look at each other, smile and say “like once or twice removed, but cousins.” LOL.
Works like a charm.
“Her husband had some BIG business to take care of, and it could have been a STICKY situation, but luckily I was there to help him out…”
What about cragislist? J and I met on craigslist…on the dating section, yes…but there are lots of mommas on there looking for other mommas to hang out with!
don’t do the “our kids were playing” thing–’cuz when alternate stories come from their cute little mouths, they’ll assume you’re hiding something. ;)
Dear AAG
Unless you intend to “DO” each other infront of the other MOMMIES … its no one’s business were you met or how!
You are friends pure (or not so PURE) and simple.
Leave it at, “I’d like you to meet ****” then shut up and enjoy her when you can.
(Impromptu “Enjoyment” in front of the Mommie group may generate some NEW friends that you didn’t know you had!)
Wouldn’t that be a trip? :-)
Ron