aag

28th Dec, 2007

Vacation

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“On the fifth day of our vacation my mother had a little breakdown. Our presence had disrupted the secret life she led while we were at school, and when she could no longer take it she threw us out. It wasn’t a gentle request, but something closer to an eviction. “Get the hell out of my house,” she said.

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, David Sedaris

If they sing one more chorus of this song or have one more shrieking chasing argument over who is the rightful owner of some worthless piece of plastic crap, I will be at this point.

Srsly.

I’m gonna lock myself into the bathroom for the remainder of the break. Perhaps I’ll emerge with the start of a book proposal. Or perhaps not. Either way, the sound of the fan should drown out both the singing and the fighting.

I bet they’ll still try to pass their boogers to me under the door.

Have a fantastic start to 2008! I’ll be back on January 2nd.

Posted by: aag

Categories:

family

Responses

right. there. with you.

By: delicata on December 28th, 2007
at 12:25 am

Only took me one day of school vacation to be thinking about locking my self in the bathroom. Bad thing is the locks are broken on both bathroom doors.

By: Jennifer on December 28th, 2007
at 1:32 am

may your time off come wth an eleven…

By: badinfluencegirl on December 28th, 2007
at 2:24 am

The wife 1/2 actually drug a futon, a lamp and a book into the walk-in closet and managed to elude them for a couple of hours.

By: The Fellatio Artist and The Geek on December 28th, 2007
at 3:27 am

This too shall pass … remember, they grow up. Although I sometimes want to retreat to the bathroom still, I always feel such a surge of happiness that my youngest is 22!

May you have a wonderful, happy, peaceful New Year!

By: nitebyrd on December 28th, 2007
at 9:19 am

I work in kindergarten and love it but am glad that they don’t belong to me. In my house I have my 21 yr old home from college. That presents a whole different kind of stress. Staying out late, will he be home for dinner, moody because he’s used to living away. They grow fast and the older they get the bigger the problems and concerns you have. :)

By: Summer on December 28th, 2007
at 9:44 am

Two words for you, my friend: Duck. Tape.

It’s Mother’s little helper.

By: Richard on December 28th, 2007
at 10:00 am

AAG,
Happy New Year! Just wait they grow up to be teenagers (with hormones).
Pete

By: Pete on December 28th, 2007
at 11:38 am

It’ll be over sooner.

Happy new year, dear friend.

xxooxx

By: Viviane on December 28th, 2007
at 1:40 pm

The popularity of David Sedaris’s “humor” will forever boggle my mind.

By: T on December 28th, 2007
at 1:45 pm

OMG! My teen daughters are home on Christmas break. I am right there with you…I can’t believe I actually took vacation this week. Pete you said it all… they do grow up and oh my god the hormones. I wonder what the hell I did as a teen to deserve this… anyway, AAG, my dear friend, hang in there. The bathroom fan does drown out a lot of sound. While you’re in there, run yourself a hot a bath. Happy New Year! See you on the 2nd.

By: Redheadedtomboy on December 29th, 2007
at 1:36 am

I’m at my parents for a week. And every night, I hear porn music and porn moans and groans coming from down in the basement. Thats my dad!!!

(HNY, AAG!!!)

By: Rupert on December 29th, 2007
at 2:04 am

lol … however, two things that could make it worse:

1. Two rugrats arguing over the words
2. Hanna Montanna

By: HeyBeerman on December 29th, 2007
at 2:06 am

LOL we got the Hannah Montana stage, the tour bus AND the guitar from various sources this Christmas…

Y’know, having my custody arrangement so that the ex takes the kid from 12/26 through New Years day every year was, in hindsight, the smartest effing thing I’ve ever done.

By: Cinnamon on December 30th, 2007
at 1:27 pm

I do it in the summers too, and I must tell you that the children can acclimate to a healthy amount of neglect given proper locks on the door.

By: freidabee on December 30th, 2007
at 2:08 pm

oh yes. I hide in the laundry room. We are potty training this week, which only adds to the joy.

Best wishes for the new year

By: bittersweet-me on December 30th, 2007
at 5:37 pm

Heh … I grew up with a relatively normal family. Can you imagine the nutter I would have become otherwise? *chuckle*

By: Gadfly on January 1st, 2008
at 1:57 am

Hang in there, AAG- They do grow up, and even though the problems they have get bigger too, their ability to deal with them also grows. Not proportionally, perhaps, but at least they’ll let you have a few moments in the bathroom. When they’re about, ohh, say, 10.

Hugs and Happy New Year

By: Sailor on January 1st, 2008
at 11:35 am

Ten? I have to wait til they’re ten to pee in peace?

Lord help me…

By: aag on January 1st, 2008
at 11:54 am

kids + after christmas = rubber band about to snap.

By: jess on January 1st, 2008
at 11:36 pm

Ugh, Hannah Montana.

I thought Billy Ray Cyrus was the most obnoxious, insufferable tool on planet earth, but then he spawned, and the apple did not fall far from the tree.

Cyrus managed to produce another human being even MORE annoying than he is. I guess that’s some kind of accomplishment. Sort of.

By: sex on January 2nd, 2008
at 2:43 am