As perhaps you’ve noticed, I have a fully functioning imagination.
It rarely lets me down. I just gaze off into the distance and POOF! whatever I need appears before my eyes, ofttimes in way more vivid detail than I’d like.
But when someone asked me for help in selecting a product the other day, I was at a loss. I didn’t know what to tell him. In all my travels I’d never seen something of the nature he imagined, and in fact I could not picture how such a thing would be physically possible.
He longed to engage in missionary-style intercourse with his spouse. It sounds simple, right? But see, he longed to engage in missionary-style intercourse while she penetrated him anally with a strap on.
I questioned him in an attempt to form a mental image. Did he want to be on top? Yes he did. And did he want his penis to be in her vagina? Ohhhhh yes he did. And he wished for her to fuck his ass? At the same time? With something strapped to her body? Yes, that was indeed his fondest wish.
What they were aiming for, as it turns out, was to have all the benefits of a threesome without the muss and bother of inviting another actual human being into their bedroom.
Would a buttplug perhaps suffice, I asked him gently. No, he told me, it would not. Thrusting by his wife and nothing less would satisfy him.
Vainly I searched for something, anything, that might work for such a purpose. I came up empty. I passed the question around to a few friends who were game for such a conversation. No one could think of anything that would help bring this fantasy to life.
I mean, I’m all about “where there’s a will there’s a way” and all that happy crap, but it seems that this would defeat the will of even the most stalwart of sexual explorers.
Or am I missing something? Please advise.
Hm. I’m seeing something that is a cross between M. C. Escher and H. R. Geiger…
That’s def. a tough one chic…
*giggling*
Good one, Rupert.
I’ve seen pictures of dildos that strap to a harness worn around one’s thigh. Would that work? Unfortunately, if she’s on bottom she’d have to contort her leg a bit–maybe scissor her legs and his, the bend her leg up to penetrate him. If it were me (as the female on the bottom), I’d tell you that entails altogether too much coordination for me to pull off. But I’m sure some women could.
Hm. If she had rather long arms and a rather long bendy dildo…..
I used to envy your job. Now I think it’s too difficult.
Escheresque, indeed!
Hmmm. Something from FuckingMachines.com, perhaps; it would probably require power and some level of automation. A sensor to detect his downward motion and drive the plug down into his own ass, reversing as he came up and out of her. It might be equally easy to have the toy fuck her anally as well.
Hydraulics, I think, could do it. Picture a fluid-filled bladder positioned between them. When he penetrates her, the bladder between them is squeezed empty and the fluid would be forced around to expand into powered anal dildos which would fuck them both in unison. When the lovers pull apart, sucking the fluid back into the bladder, the powered dildoes would retract.
Much more simply, perhaps a butt plug attached to a set of handlebars, in the shape of a “W” with the toy in the middle. She would pull the toy into his butt, forcing his cock into her pussy. Untill she released him, he would be unable to pull away, Alternatively, she can hold the toy still and allow him to “vibrate” between him in her and her toy in him.
Now, where is my perspective-drawing graph paper and my Kohinoor pencils…… It is not for nothing that my degrees are in physics and engineering!
This was almost as confusing for me to visualize as a dvda penetration scene. (That came up at a party, and twenty adults went silent, attempting to figure how that’d work. Including hand motions.)
But maybe, some sort of upside down strap on with a really long dildo….or a foot harness! She could wrap her legs around him, and put a dildo harness to her foot in his bum! A long, bendy one!
Also, tech reader? I love the way you think.
Without a threesome or expensive, custom-made equipment this chap is going to remain disappointed, I’m afraid :o(
What is a dvda penetration?
***googling***
Oh! That’s what it is. (Now also in silent contemplation…)
Double-headed dildo, both up the wazoo? I’d do it.
This just seems impossible. If he’s on top of her, even if she’s wearing a harness with a dildo that’s insanely long and flexible (which it sounds like is part of his fantasy), his body weight and motion would be constantly interfering with her thrusting.
No, he has to adjust his angle entirely.
Or, he has to be content with this staying in the realm of one of those physically impossible fantasies.
Eve
I am constantly amazed at the lengths “we” will go to in the quest to satisfy our particular sexual desires. The human mind is wonderful, scary, intimidating thing. It makes me often wonder why having an orgasm isn’t enough. Why do we need more than that ultimate release? Hmmmmmmm…
Ah, if only having an orgasm were enough. How much easier our lives would be!
by missionary does he mean that she’s lying flat and he’s straight on top of her?
and don’t laugh…i KNOW what the missionary position is but there are variations.
i mean, depending on their size i could see her being able to reach her arms around him with enough dexterity to get a toy in his bum with her hands.
her legs would have to be angled between their chests and he would need to be up on his knees a bit, but in this position i can get my fingers in my partner’s ass with little problem.
the addition of a toy would require lots of rhythm, lots of lube and “openness” on the man’s part.
AAG – My personal suggestion to this gentlemen would probably lie in using the Share:
http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/double-ended-dildos/share
or feeldoe:
http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/double-ended-dildos/feeldoe-violet
for some reverse double penetration action. I am not sure about the logistics of the whole thing, but if she is okay with the bulb or handle end in her bum, then maybe they could work out a way to get the penis end into his bum and they could have some fun with it while his dick is inside her pussy. That is definitely a new one for my brain as well.
If she is not okay with that in her ass, then maybe the menage a trois for two harness:
http://www.edenfantasys.com/MENAGE-A-TROIS-FOR-TWO-HARNESS-SET/adult-toys-dvds-19724
is a possibility with one ring circling her pussy and the other below that with a dildo, but it will probably need a really angled dildo like the realistic executive:
http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/realistic-dildos/realistic-executive
but that one has more girth than a lot of guys are going to want to take anally maybe something with some more length and flexibility like the jollies wave:
http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/strap-on-dildos/jollies-wave
or the O2 Niagara:
http://www.edenfantasys.com/dildos/strap-on-dildos/02-niagara
The other shot would be as has already been mentioned on here, a thigh harness.
What about a feeldoe, worn on one end in her rear? Hmmm, perhaps not long enough…
I think that I second the double ended didldo suggestion.
What a curious desire :) I wonder if he ever has fantasies about Futanari…
double ended dildo rather. Good grief, I should try proof reading before posting sometime.
i guess a dildo on a palm harness is out of the question?
After reading all the comments and exercising my memory corpuscles… I have a suggestion which might work.. it has 2 major elements:
1) a thigh-based harness for her and the strapon
2) modified missionary position, with the lady moved sideways a bit so she can push her thigh between the gent’s legs. It’s a little tricky, but it can be done… Actually, it can work man-on-top or woman-on-top..
(…available for testing…)
What about a pogo stick from Fucking Machines? She could wrap her arms around him holding the stick behind his back…
http://www.extremerestraints.com/pogo-stick-fucking-machine_1690.html
Just a thought.
man i love your commenters
these suggestions are killingly funny and awesome
Coco! By George I think you’ve got it!
Feeldoe…dp her with bulb & his cock…the other end goes – well, you get the idea.
i think some sort of ceiling-anchored rowing machine X fucking machine is what he needs. she just… pulls the lever!
A dildo strapped to her foot? Perhaps with some practice she could thrust into him while her leg is wrapped around his waist.
Wow. It was like the Rosetta Stone of intimacy. And Coco cracked it.
I <3 your readers – what great suggestions!
by the way, DVDA = double vaginal, double anal. I have an anti DVDA button made up. When I first learned about it, I had to draw diagrams of how it would work, just of where the bodies would go. I don’t believe it exists…like unicorns.
Unicorns, leprechauns, and DVDA…
I wish I hadn’t looked up DVDA… I’ve been clenching ever since.
And I want you to know this KEPT ME UP last night! Not in a good way… I kept trying to picture it and figure out how to get it done!
Essin’ Em, I did the same damn thing. Our entire group fell silent trying to figure it out. I mean, I’ve heard tell of it in stories, but I just don’t see how it could work in real life. Apparently, there are films of this. If I find one, I’m so blogging it.
I think this is the sort of thing you need Jean Grey like telekenisis to do. Or a bunch of slings.
I watched a friend do double vaginal penetration, and that was hard enough. The guys had to lay down and scissor, and she got on top of them, but then she couldn’t figure out how to move. Throwing two more dicks that are attached to people in the mix would have boggled my mind.
Oh, I’ve seen a DV too. It *looked* easy. One man under, one man standing behind. Girl sammiched in the middle.
:)
I keep visualizing this saws-all with a cock-like dildo attached to it as seen many times on Fucking Machines. Better yet, get a concrete vibrator!
Seriously, outside of nailing 2X4’s between the head board and foot board of the bed giving a solid backing to attach a butt projectile, I will have to agree with the tech reader above suggesting the handle bars. Perhaps a reverse missionary, where he inserts a dildo up his behind, she gets on top inserting his cock in her, then put some Evanesence on real loud and rock into orgasm.
OK I admit I didn’t read all of the other comments, so I hope I’m not being a repeater…
While it wouldn’t allow for his wife to do the pelvic thrusting, the Palm Harness (I reviewed it for Eden Fantasys) might would work… it might take some pillows to get the right reach, but I’m positive it could be done! It would allow HER to be in control of the thrusting in his backside while he happily does his part :)
The geek 1/2 here…
The frustrated engineer in me is gazing off in the distance with that look in my eyes that causes The Artist to ask…”What are you building?” (and occasionally, “Is it gonna hurt?” bt I digress)
I say take the back 1/2 of a recumbant bike, remove wheel, add a crankshaft with a throw of the length you desire the penetration to be, add connecting rod to connect t to a feeldoe, sit back, she pedals, you fuck, done..
Simple. Seriously. Wouldn’t take more than a 1/2 dozen Saturdays in the garage to work the kinks out of the design. NO wait , IN.
Geek,
Oh
My
God.
You people astound me!
:)
Well if he was penetrating on top but facing away from her (ie his feet towards her head) she could thrust something into him as he thrusts down into her. Would probably have to be a longish object unless she wants to try and sit up while he’s on top.