aag

French Vanilla maybe. ;)

Vanilla Extract this toy from my butt if I pass out from coming too hard, please.

Cause you’re polite like that.

:-)

See, when I handed that toy off to you, Rupert, my responsibility for it ended!

If my light bulbs get stuck in their sockets, you gonna come over here and get them out for me, eh?

:)

well, Vanilla IS the most loved of all the flavors. What would this world be without our beloved Vanilla? Plain should not be associated with this most pleasing of all essences.

Well….my ex-husband called me kinky cause I wanted him to go down on me….

I am WAY more vanilla than you, and yet I am not vanilla at all. I think I am more of a toffee or a mint chocolate chip ;)

You know… I bet what he was really trying to do is have women feel pity for him. But to get it he has to lie.

Relatively vanilla. I’ll accept relatively vanilla.

:)

I agree with Jon.. men say dumb shit like that to pull tail all the time. i wouldn’ take it to heart, considering in reality you are the least vanilla of anyone I know (or read about). ps, kind of funny finding him on the dating site… if i were feeling petty i might have wanted to find some way to mess with him through it.

If he indeed rejected your suggestions for ways to spice things up, then it’s true that his experience of sex with you was, as you say, vanilla. What’s not true is that you were the reason for it.

But what’s he going to say? “I recently broke away from a wife with whom I was a big vanilla pussy and now I want to have something shoved up my ass for a change?” Probably not on a dating site.

It’s like the men who beat their wives and inevitably tell their next girlfriend, “She hit me. I was abused.” Deflecting responsibility onto you is his way of saving face. Lovely, isn’t it?

Hmmm. We might have to redefine the world if you’re vanilla. Maybe I could be ultra-white? Like how white-out is always whiter than the paper you’re putting it on?

Thanks for the link to affordable glass yesterday. I can’t deal with pink, but maybe this http://www.edenfantasys.com/cyberglass-four-way-g/adult-toys-dvds-23356 should be listed as another affordable option for us college students!

Virtually
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Yep. You’re vanilla.

I don’t know where the stigma associated with “Vanilla” came from, as vanilla is de-fucking-licious, but judging from the fact that there is a “glass dildo sweepstakes” in the previous entry, I’m gonna go with “anything but”.

i used to be vanilla… i thought i preferred it that way

now i’m actually hellaciously vanilla by sex blog standards but i’m having a fantabulous time expanding my horizons.

my guess is he’s reality reinventing so that everything becomes all your fault… but you knew that :)

further evidence that ex’s are ass’s

As I know form working in the perfume industry, nothing turns a REAL man on more than the warm, sensual notes of vanilla. So there, I think the description fits just fine.

it is all about perception, belle…you are a sexual woman that he could, and would, never understand…

it is a shame…

what does it mean “vanilla” ?

Hahahaha. My ex-husband said to a few people that I didn’t like sex. Hahaha. I love reality reversals such as that. Keeps us on our toes? I certainly shocked a few of his friends when it was all over bewteen us. Noooo. I wasn’t bitter. I just had a small pool at first. You just have to appreciate the humour. He probably knew you’d find it. Just one more way to try to piss you off.

You know it was just ‘projection.’ My belief is that some day their lies will come back and bite them/him/my X, in the butt. Then see what they have to say about THAT. LOL

I will always be willing to help you unscrew.

I’m completely not sticking up for the man, but who would respond to an ad:

Boring man wants woman who can deal with once a month, missionary, and I promise not to notice the bored look in your eyes…

(And thats still beefing up a bit)

BTW, long time listener, first time caller… ;)

LOL

That’s rich… but then again communication and words (eg. meaningful discussion) was never his strong point.

Vanilla…? Hardly. Wicked sinfully delicious vanilla maybe getting closer. ;)

Maybe he meant to ask for someone who “was” vanilla and just got it mixed up? LOL

Laugh and giggle at this my dear, because he is no longer *your* problem! :)

*snort*

Maybe he doesn’t understand what “vanilla” is supposed to mean.

Oh HONEY, the potential humor of what could turn up to answer his add is just too funny!!!! Think about it. He didn’t want toys and blindfolds with you… imagine if someone who was hardcore into BDSM answered his ad. No really, let’s all take a moment. Imagine being a fly on the wall for THAT first date.

Seriously, imagine your ex, about to be the poster boy for “Be really really REALLY careful what you wish for!”

And Vanilla is an aprodesiac, you know. :)

What a noob that guy is. I don’t think I would be able to handle it if my wife was half as “vanilla” as you are. But it would be a heck of alot of fun trying to find out.

Maybe when he said “vanilla” he wasn’t referring to your sexuality (?).

Just maybe your ex hasn’t learned about Karma. It sure was fun when my ex learned about Karma. Though pretty sure Karma isn’t done with him yet…so I am sure the fun has just begun.

I have second thoughts about posting this, because we all hate “posers” on the internet… but your stb-ex probably deserves it.

… and wouldn’t it be fun to respond to his posting with a full-on kinky BDSM- type of post.. or even to have an exchange of a few messages, more kinky each time.

… sorry.. I’m not usually vengeful, but sometimes.. you just want the “bad guys” to get some of their own medicine.

Your ex consistently proves how out of touch with reality he is. Grrrrrr.

I like sensitive man’s comment :)

Ah, the inept stb-ex. He’ll get his, karma likes to bite people like that.

Just think, maybe he’ll find a lovely woman who just happens to heartily enjoy disciplining naughty boys with whips and surprisingly large dildos.*

Your stb-ex might in fact die of shock.

*Not that there’s anything wrong with either of those, but the look on your stb-ex’s face would probably be quite priceless.

I’m so pleased that you guys haven’t abandoned me just because I have nothing to give away today.

:)

You need to set up a blind date with him. Get a girlfriend to tie him up, blindfold him and then you come in and butt fuck him with one of your toys.

Please, please, please do not then give the toy away!

Dave you are very evil.

This blog does not condone the involuntary buttfuckery of anyone.

:)

I’m surprised nobody has brought this up - if everything the dating site posting said was inline with what your stb-ex would have said, then sure, it’s likely it was him. But when the posting says stuff that doesn’t make sense coming from him, then maybe it wasn’t him after all.

Isn’t it possible you want to leap to the conclusion it was him despite the vanilla tag just so he can feel your cyber-ire?

The fact he described someone entirely unlike you also seems strange. There was nothing about you he still liked? I may be naive never having gone through an intense breakup, but things just don’t add up here.

I have a very clear idea of what type of person he wants. I also know how he writes. It was the stb-ex. There’s no question in my mind.

And don’t get me wrong…I totally support his acquisition of a partner such as he wants. It’s only the “vanilla” thing that gets me.

:)

Vanilla must be very different in your neck of the woods! Your vanilla is pretty exotic to my taste buds.

I have a very good idea why you’re so sure that it’s the STB-ex who posted that, and i can well imagine, from everything you’ve written about hin in the past two years, that he *would* spout such nonsense.

He’s a poor lost lamb who’s looking for an identity, and it’ll come as a bit of a shock to him when someone … (remark edited by administrator…you know I lurves you Slow Learner!) :o)

BTW I love vanilla - it’s one of the few fragrances that my almost extinct sense of smell can detect

I think some people do this in their personals as a “woe is me, be the one to show me what I’ve been missing!” schtick. I guess that sells better than “You will never measure up to the freak she was, but you can try!” . . . which in this case would be the truth :-)

That’s funny…

I had always thought “stb” ex was short for Stubborn Ex… In that he seems to be one of the more stubborn and difficult people on the planet…

It never occured to me it might mean soon-to-be Ex

By the way, I’m pretty sure, he’s crossed over the “soon-to-be” barrier at this stage… celebrate by dropping the stb!!!

You know, vanilla is my favorite flavor. Just saying . . . . And, no, you are not vanilla in that way.

I like your friend D a lot I think :P)

He is such a good egg. :)

In his mind, you ARE vanilla, AAG. After all… He had that one idea… wait. no, he was too tired…. But he wanted it all… no, wait, he didn’t…
It all goes back to “on your head”, really. You’re at fault, because it’s HIS brain saying so. Imagine the surprise he’ll get using terms like vanilla so loosely….. OOoh…. get him a dominatrix for Christmas. She’ll show him the difference. :D

I will forgo the quips - as good as they are - and answer seriously.

Are you familiar with the “Slut-Madonna” dichotomy? For some men, a woman MUST be either a “whore” or a “virgin”. BC (”Before Children”) is different, but after the children are born, “mommy” must be pure. Women who lust are sluts. Mommies aren’t sluts.

If your stb-ex is one such person, it might explain a LOT; why he calls you “vanilla” now when he refused your “sluttish” advances before. He was preserving, in his own mind, the concept that “good mothers” don’t do such things.

Figleaf at realadultsex.com has a recurring riff on a related concept, that many men see women as the “no-sex class”. You’ve probably read it - I know you read him - and while you certainly don’t see yourself that way, it may be that stb-ex DOES.

Or perhaps I’m overanalyzing things. I’m not a pshrink - my degrees are in science, not medicine. But if you take a step back, you might find that he’s more “ill” than “malicious”.

Not, of course, that this will make you feel any better about things.

I was thinking maybe a vanilla bean. When used properly, it’s slightly exotic yet still tasty, familiar and comforting.