Earlier this week I had implanted into my body a small device which I fervently hope will wrangle my hormones into some sort of compliance.
As is the case almost any time one is asked to strip from the waist and wrap up in a piece of paper, this was not particularly fun.
I laid back on a skinny table with my feet in the stirrups while my doctor determined the position of my uterus. It was found to be in the expected spot. Considering the tricks my uterus has played on me over the years, I was mildly surprised that it was there instead of hanging around up by my liver or something.
The doctor then cranked me open with a speculum and peered inside. I peeked past his shoulder to where he’d taken the speculum from a shelf and saw a whole gleaming pile of them, which I very briefly considered pilfering. I’ve always wanted one. It irks me when someone else can see a part of my body that I can’t see.
My plans for speculum-thievery were interrupted by the doctor’s call for a longer speculum. I wanted to ask him the meaning of this. Is my vagina now extra-long? Have I been stretched asunder? Must I redouble my Kegel-ing?
It seems that I have a cervix made of steel. On this day as on every other, it was closed up as tight as a bear trap. My doctor coaxed it open, painfully, as I tried not to flinch myself right off the edge of the table.
Once it was open, he released the device into me, sending an extra-sharp twinge through my body. He apologized to me profusely, which was nice even though it did nothing to ease the pain. But finally the procedure was done.
Since then I’ve felt the throb of my body growing comfortable with the device. At times it’s been a near-constant vicious thumping, then hours will pass without a twinge. I’ve bled off and on, sometimes soaking through two pads in an hour, sometimes only dripping morosely.
But now I think I’m getting used to it. The throbbing and the leaking are almost gone. Every so often a hard twinge brings me up short, but mostly, I’m getting used to it.
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***More super-duper-awesome Saturday Swag coming tomorrow!***
If one can love a birth control device, I loved my Mirena. No periods for eight years (not to mention the benefit of no unwanted pregnancy). I hope you grow to love your IUD as much as I loved mine (until it was rudely pulled from my body recently).
*blaaaaaugh* i feel queasy. sorry… i have a weak stomach for IUD’s.
No periods for 8 years? That’s fucken awesome. I want that.
PS- I, also, have always wanted a speculum of my own. :p
So lemme get this straight, Claire…speculums are good but IUDs are not?
:)
i want to hear more about this as your body gets used to it…me and my friends have been talking about doing iuds for years, but none of us have the balls…
i want to know more…
I have a speculum. Honest to God!
It is even clean.
:P
i had an iud for six years.
it makes the cramps worse, it regulated my periods through what i think was slight uterine irritation and it absolutely kept the pregnancy gods away.
god condoms suck.
and the removal? i didn’t even feel it.
Once again, another reason I’m glad I’m a guy…
Please keep us updated on how this goes- many women (myself included) are curious about this method and want to hear an honest evaluation. Hope it gets better aag!
Have used the Paragard copper IUD for more than five years now. Works great, no fuss at all. Menstrual cramps can be a killer, but survivable. I much prefer that to remembering a pill at the same time everyday, plus the copper IUD means that you’re not inundating your body with hormones (just weird metal). But that’s everyone’s own choice. I believe that the Paragard is supposed to work for five more years too!
http://www.paragard.com
i have an iud and love it. i have paragaurd though, which doesn’t have hormones but lasts a few years longer. it made my periods more crampy for ~6 months, but now they’re back to normal (meaning super far apart and light – who needs every 28 days anyway?) my doctor didn’t know why i wanted one at first, since i’m only 21, but they’re becoming a lot more common. hope you have good luck with yours :)
Im very interested in your IUD experience too. I have been thinking about doing the same thing.
On the speculum note, I currently have a part-time job teaching (with a group of women) student doctors how to do the whole pap smear procedure, from the spiel at the beginning to gaining consent, and then they practice their first one on me, getting feedback along the way. Its one of the most rewarding jobs I have ever had. We teach the students to offer the client a mirror to see her cervix, so one of the best benefits of the job is getting to see my cervix a few times a year. I mean, who better to notice whether there are any changes in appearance than the owner?
One big difference between here (Oz) and the States is that we no longer use stirrups. I was surprised, er, shocked actually, when I did a literature review recently and discovered that they were still in wide use in the US…
Good luck with it, I’ve got a mirena and like redheadeditor I love it. The first day I got it though I was ready to get it ripped out, I had hours of terrible pain. I think part of the problem was that I wasn’t told there would be bad pain, just that it might be ‘a little crampy’ or something. But the pain was all but gone the next day, and my period was really light and pain free! Yay! I got it to try and regulate my hormones, so we’ll see (I’ve only had it a few weeks). I’m hoping my periods will go away altogether.
BTW – I’m in Aust too and was up in stirrups. Yuck.
AAG – speculums are available to purchase.
Good luck with the hormones thing. I know how mind boggling they can be from observation of women close to me. Of course men have a(n androgenic) cycle too, but we have nothing to regulate it and anyway, it’s a big secret… (shhh)
Though they are in stage 2 testing of a male fertility pill, I do believe I heard recently….
I have one, but it’s copper, not the Mirena. I don’t like to mess with the hormones. I had one for eight years between baby 2 and 3, and got one again after baby 4. It’s an amazing piece of work, and trust me, your body DOES get used to it.
the first two days were the worst… but the menstrual cramps did get and stay worse… just not immensely worse … and really, that happens with age anyway so it’s hard to judge the ‘stay’ part
I wanted this IUD expressly for the hormones. I hardly need the birth control effects of it. The small amount of local hormones seemed preferable to the system-wide influx of hormones from the pill.
I was recently considering the IUD, too. Did your doctor talk to you about the higher risk for cervical infection. The doctor I talked to said she was more hesitant to recommend it to women who still thought they might want to get pregnant, or who were having frequent sex with multiple partners (therefore increasing the risk of potential infection). She felt the safest candidates for the IUD were LTR monogamous women who were sure they were done with having kids.
Just thought it was worth a mention.
Also, Mirena mystifies me. Why would one need an IUD AND hormones, when there are a billion other hormonal options, including an implant option? The reason I was asking about the IUD at all was to have a non-hormonal form of birth control. And the Mirena was STILL pushed heavily by one of the professionals I saw, despite my clear assertion I wanted no hormones. I wonder if doctors are getting kickbacks from recommending it.
My doctor is fully aware of my current sexual situation.
The thinking on the Mirena is that it can put the hormones RIGHT THERE and nowhere else, which is definitely what I wanted right now.
I can’t do the IUD because I already stop my period when I’m off birth control–like, I don’t get it for a year at a time (possibly more, but I generally have found that isn’t really good to not get it for that long at my age and just suck it up and go to the doctor). But I’ve kind of always thought it would be a nice thing not to have to deal with other birth control…
HOwever, after your entry I’m sort of rethinking the nice aspect–I don’t do well with pain in my uterus. I hurt for a couple days after a PAP
Glad to hear yours is in the same place and “not floating up by your liver” :-) ROFL
I love my IUD. I’ve had it for 4 years (last week) and haven’t had but 1 period a year for the last 3. I don’t even have the issue with the menstrual cramping all that often.
I guess I’ve been lucky. The only thing that sucks is it’ll be time to have it removed next year, and my insurance won’t cover me getting a new one.
Aarrggg…
p.s. where can you buy a speculum?
Many years ago I went to the museum of erotica in Canberra (now closed down I am told). They had a plaster cast of a girl bending over with a speculum holding her open. I put my fingers in the hole and got told “everyone does that”.
Hope the IUD works for you. My mum got one a couple of years ago for hormone control and swears by it.
http://www.stockroom.com/Speculums-C233.aspx?ref=2205102
Speculums
man, IUDs are really coming back into fashion (which is awesome, i think). my mother had an IUD before i was born some thirty years ago. i remember her telling me that there was some kind of IUD scare back in the ’70s and that doctors stopped using them (??). just a few months ago i was in planned parenthood for my yearly and picked up a pamphlet on IUDs and was like “you mean i could have had one of these suckers in me this whole time?” now that i’m thinking babies it’s not an option but it is nice to know that once i’m done popping out kidlets i don’t have to get the tubes tied.
thanks for the update, aag, i was waiting for it.
eeek that gives me some whopping willies. i’ll stick to my patch, thanks.
(geddit? stick to my patch??? ah, i kill me…)
you got an IUD? my sister believes hers gave her painful orgasms and interstitial cystitis.
at the first sign of trouble, get your obgyn to take the fucker out.
Eeep!
Yes, I most certainly will!
That sounds painful : / I have the Implanon implant, I just had my second one fitted a few months ago. It lasts for 3 years, I’ve never had any problems with it. It reduces periods a lot, because part of how it works is to thin the lining in the womb. That means there is nothing to bleed.
I have mine implanted in my arm, although I believe you can have it in your leg too. I can’t feel it in my arm at all, and I only have a 3mm scar from having the first one taken out (the second one goes in through the same cut).
http://www.implanon.com/index.asp?C=86781394029770138889
I wasn’t curious if your doctor knew about your sexual situation, more of whether or not he mentioned the higher infection risk thing in general. The first person I spoke to (a nurse/midwife), who was pushing the Mirena on me, did not mention this at all, despite my trying to get clear information from her. Later on, talking to an OB/GYN, that information suddenly came up out of nowhere.
This is my area of expertise so I love telling people about the IUD. (In the US, here are the facts.)
Paragard – 12 yrs – copper (Not recommended for women w/ heavy periods because it can make periods heavier, cramps more frequent.)
Mirena – 5 yrs – hormones (Centrally located so much better than other hormonal b/c methods). Even w/o the hormones (5+ yrs) the Mirena is still 89% effective as b/c (which is why mine stayed in for 3 “extra” yrs. Often women have no periods with the Mirena.
Surprisingly, IUDS are no longer just for women who have had children or are in monogamous relationships. They used to think the string “invited” infection but not so (not any more). Cervix is easier to dilate in women who have had vaginal birth but doesn’t mean it can’t be inserted in women who haven’t had children. The pain associated with insertion is often from the dilation of the cervix, but cramping should dissipate. None of mine hurt being removed. Not to be confused with the horrible Dalkon Shield of the 70s. Easily the cheapest form of b/c because of the length of time IUDs work.
(And if your partner “complains” about the strings, you can have them trimmed.)
Thus endeth the lesson.
I convulsed for you I think. My whole body tightened as if expecting a metallic device to painfully make its way into my vagina.
I have very often considered getting one of these devices inserted, and every time I even start to fathom getting it done I feel the tightening.
I’m sorry about the bleeding, I know how awful that all by itself can be – not to mention the cramping that probably accompanied it. I hope you’re feeling better by the time you read this!
*hugs*
It’s plastic, actually! I’m pretty much entirely fine now. :)
The first comment beat me to it: (and she’s a redhead too? weird!!). The Mirena’s the best thing to ever happen to me, I love it immensely. No period, no cramps, no PMS, no adverse effect on my desire… and no unwanted pregnancies. Sweet. IUD’s rock. :)
So lemme get this straight, Claire…speculums are good but IUDs are not?
Well, the discomfort comes more from the idea of penetrating the small entrance that is the cervix with medical tools.
I don’t have the same feelings about penetrating the vaginal opening to look at the cervix, which is what the speculum is for.
;)
You know I’m just teasin’, right?
:)
Actually redheadededitor, based on this information online, you’re not entirely correct. Perhaps I phrased myself badly which led to a misunderstanding, but while the connection between IUDs and *pelvic inflammatory disease* is now believed to be lower than originally assumed (but still IS there there, usually due to insertion), vulnerability to more serious STD infection complications is still possible when an IUD is present. That’s what my gynecologist was saying that woman who wasn’t monogamous and thought she still might want kids needed to know, because depending on the severity and location of the infection and the treatment needed to fight it due to those factors, it could affect her fertility.
Anyway, I don’t claim to be an expert, but I DID get this information from a gynecologist, who I’m fairly certain knew her stuff. But everyone should talk to their own doctors about it rather than rely on advice from any commenter on a blog, anyway.
Of course! I guess I just felt like ‘splainin. Didn’t mean to sound defensive.
:)
I love my Mirena!
It took a bit of convincing until my doctor agreed to do it as he said it is more difficult in women that never had kids before.
Inserting it did only hurt for a second and I never felt it afterwards at all. I did bleed for almost a month though but he told me to expect that.
I specifically asked for the Mirena as it lessens your periods and now I only have a little spotting every half year or so its GREAT!
my mum had one of those. years ago now, shortly after my sister was born, so they’ve come a long way since then, but i’m still squeamish about them since it got embedded in the wall of her uterus and she had to have it removed surgically.
I adore my IUD!!
I’ve had mine for 5 years now. In those years I have convinced my sister, and 5 other women into getting one:) My only complaint is that my cramps are pretty damn hardcore. As long as you have some idea when as to when your moon rises, you can zap them with aspirin before they even start.
I got a Mirena January of last year. I had to fight tooth and NAIL to get one, and was about ten minutes short of lying to a healthcare provider in order to get one. Planned Parenthood even had the audacity to tell me they couldn’t give me one (and the provider kept repeatedly trying to steer me to methods which are exceptionally unsuited to me, even after telling her I didn’t want them!).
I’m 22 now (20, then), nulliparous, and not married. The single cramp I had from insertion lasted about 10 seconds, was less intense than a menstrual cramp (which, mine, admittedly, were pretty bad), and that was it. Got my first period last week in [math sucks...however long since Jan07]
As a college student, I’m finding that women my age have heard only vague shells of the horror stories, and either know nothing about IUDs (even their existence), or that it’s something of their mom’s generation (by that I mean old, ineffective, undesirable, and the worst option available).
So, like redheadededitor, I’ve got a mission: making sure women know about IUDs as a viable form of BC. It’s only going to get worse around here, too, because the abstinence-only sex ed movement is gaining a LOT of ground. Oh, and student health? They won’t deal with new BC – only write Rx’s for existing treatment.
This ain’t yer momma’s IUD. I have the Mirena, too, and it is the bees’ frigging knees. It’s been . . . nearly two years? and from almost the beginning, the periods stopped. They got sort of light, and then maybe 3-4 months later, nada. This is the best thing ever. My doctor didn’t even blink when I told her I wanted one – and I was 26 at the time and have not had (nor do I want) children. The insertion was no picnic, but the benefits are awesome.
I love my Mirena IUD. It’s my second IUD – the first was a copper coil which slipped (courtesy of my ‘shallow cervix’) and caused me a LOT of pain and uncontrollable bleeding. Since getting it replaced with the Mirena four years ago I’ve had no periods, minimal cyclical issues, and less hormone-related migraines.
Here’s hoping yours is as good to you!
xx Dee
I had my Flexi-T copper IUD fitted nearly six weeks ago. I bled for 3.5 weeks afterwards but it seems to have sorted itself out now. It felt horrible at first and I still find it uncomfortable when Ruf does some of the deeper penetration positions but, after my ‘accident’, the relief of not having to use condoms and being able to have him come in me again outweighs that minor irritation. Havent had a proper period yet, altho I guess it’s due and I await to see whether the cramps and bleeding are worse than I was experiencing before. At 46, they had already started to be longer and heavier than when I was younger.
Let me know how it works in the long run…I’ve heard great and horrible things about it. But since I don’t want kids, and have horrible periods, and have migraines, it might be a great option.
Jane just got the Mirena a couple of months ago. She seems to really like it so far. Once the bleeding stopped, she’s loving the fact that she doesn’t have to make a beeline for the bathroom to get those spermies out.
I’m not terribly fond of it, personally. If I penetrate too deeply, I can feel it poking me. And it’s not particularly “pleasant.”
Hi, I’ve just had my mirena taken out ( thank Heavens) and can now get my life back. The only good thing was no periods for five years. The hormones gradually ran through my system and all the side effects crept up on me.
My allergies got MUCH worse.
My skin thinned.
I felt three thousand years old , ALL the time.
It stripped a goodly amount of calcium from my body, my teeth started crumbling.
( after two months post removal, my bone and teeth density has improved outta site! WITHOUT supplements. My dentist and doctor are now a lot happier)
I had NO sex drive at all.
My weight crept up with NO lifestyle change, 30 kilos! – I have lost on average half a kilo a week since removal. NO diet change, NO activity change.
I’ve always had slight hormonal acne on my face and nowhere else… with mirena I had it all up my formerly crystal clear back and derriere, bust and even my scalp.
Lots of other minor crap.
Please, if you have sensitivities to the pill and other hormone treatments, DO NOT go here. I thought I was just aging rapidly- bulldust! I’m just glad that my husband gave me all the support I needed to bring this tragedy to my doctor and Gynie’s attention. For so, long I thought it was just me.
Now I’m having my tubes clipped. Hormonal interference just doesn’t work for me
I feel for you and your experience! I spent 40 minutes on the examination table as two doctors tried to get the IUD in place. After jabbing and shoving and profuse apologies, they had to give up.
Apparently my uterus is at a difficult angle???! It was very painful and I was a little bit traumatized afterwards. I had nightmares and zero interest in sex for quite a long time. When I eventually tried again, I broke down crying. No my periods happen really fast and really heavy. I don’t know if it’s even possible, but I feel like my cervix is less tight than before.
I really beleive my doctor had the absolute best intentions, but nothing could have prepared me for the effects I experienced. Maybe I’m the only one with a uterus tilted too far forward, but I would just be a little hesitant to recommend this procedure for anyone who is still pretty young.