On a Thursday not long ago, I had a small fit of insecurity with my friend, who, it occurs to me somewhat belatedly, needs a name. We’ll call him Matthew.
To soothe my mind, Matthew rearranged his plans so that we could meet on that Thursday night, and over the course of several hours he fucked me into a state of secure contentment.
After one especially intimate round, he curled behind my back, moved the sweaty hair off my neck and nuzzled in right behind my ear. He held me like that for a long time. Then he forced me to turn around so that he could look directly into my eyes.
“Do you still doubt that I love you?” he asked me. “Do you think there is any way I could have been with you like this without absolutely loving you?”
I had no doubts. None at all. I felt it then, with his words and his actions and his body.
I had no doubt.
We are human and we all have doubts, but true love is that which can soothe them all away.
And also know when to let one vanquish one’s demons rather than validate them. :)
AAG:
All these elements that you feel for Matthew combine to suggest that what you feel for him is a bond of spirit; for love cannot be love without the accompaniment of a charismatic component that we call spirit, which gives it that indefineable fascination.
Mischa.
The Confession of the Panther Woman ©
http://theconfessionofthepantherwoman.blogspot.com
Sex, drugs, and metamorphosis.
the ultimate expression of love is the act of intimacy. i’m glad your doubts have left you, and hope your love continues to grow.
sorry for the mushiness, i’m in that sort of mood :)
It’s nice, when needs are met not only for sex (which is, of course, wonderful), but also for the connections and love that we all need.
But will you doubt, at some point, in the future? Is it enough now….for you never to doubt again?
The mere fact that he altered his schedule to see you would have been enough to remove doubt, for me.
You have found a wonderful lover, aag.
That was nice.
It’s funny that back when you had a little parade of men throughout the entries, I wished you had given them names to help me keep them straight. Now, when there’s one main flame, I’m having no trouble keeping track. But I do like names.
A parade of men? Was it really all that bad?
:)
Sounds great you were able to silence your doubts for a bit if nothing else.
You forgot to add —— “and then he went home to his wife.”
:) That’s a given, Lance.
Why does he go home to his wife? I am not sure I’ve missed that post. (I hope I am not asking something too personal)
He’s married to his wife.
:)
You really need to start charging for your services. Not even the cheapest prostitute in town gives it away for free. There is no reason why you should either. Certainly you are better than the cheapest prostitute. Aren’t you? Im not being judgemental, Im just assessing the facts as I know them. I don’t think that $500 per session should be out of the question. Maybe more.
lol…aag, you are too funny!!!
what I meant to ask is why is he still married to her?
And Lance, since when is enjoying yourself something you charge for?
aag wrote: “A parade of men? Was it really all that bad?
:)”
Nah, not bad at all.
It sounded *good* from my perspective. :)
Dora… not to answer for AAG, but the assumption that married people is monogamous is probably not one to get in the habit of (damn those prepositions!!) Many, such as myself and my husband are not monogamous people, and never expect to be… but we are married and happy. Monogamy I don’t care about. Honesty and Respect and Communication… those are valued highly. As is really really good sex! :-)
Never Doubt that he loves you with All His Heart,,I am certain, he doesnt posess the words to express how deeply he Loves You..
I very seriously doubt that I am better than some sex workers.
Lance, you need to understand. A sex worker’s payment in the money he or she earns. My “payment,” if you will, is the enjoyment I get from the sex and companionship. No money is necessary.
:)
minxxa, Thanks, that was a point of view I had not considered!