aag

oh geeze…

oh geeze…!

soon he’ll be gone right?

soon the torment will end?

tell you what, i’ll mail you the dildo that’s too big for me that i’m afraid to try…?

not even that?
*huggs*

Sometimes a person who writes pro- or semiprofessionally gets it in their head that she needs to take some time, a very certain slot of time, to do the writing. Perhaps this is a person whose preference, other things equal, is to stick to The Plan if any were made. Maybe, it’s like what happens to me, when I know I need to do something or it will never get done, but (name of SO) needs me to do something else; we’ve all been in this situation.

We’ll that’s a lot of qualifications, innit?

The question (SO) asks, and perhaps you’ll ask yourself is, is this a part of a pattern of ignoring your requests/needs/etc. because he doesn’t care, or part of a pattern of caring but feeling that he needs to do Certain Things (even though a consequence may be you being, well, a bit peeved from time to time). If Mr. Open Relationship is as important to you as he seems to be, I hope y’all get this sorted out :)

It can be done. (SO) and I are the sort of people who already lead pretty freestanding lives, and we live in different towns too, so for us its a matter of finding a happy modicum of give-and-take, slap-and-tickle, steak-and-eggs, and small helpful favors that one needn’t feel are onerus, amongst the things that our pre-existing life projects won’t allow us to do… For instance (SO) thinks the amount of sex I want is both fascinating and amusing, but doesn’t let this prevent us both from doing our respective work.

OTOH, geez, it’s just a little car trip, what’s a half hour, like you’ll be unable to do writing at AAG’s house?

My plan, when I became a single custodial father at a young age, was to do everything I could to encourage my son’s mother in her social life. I was in Virginia, as was she, and I wanted to be in Seattle. My concept was that, in time, she would start making more babies and another family and sooner or later she would feel less needful of time with our son, at which time he and I could move to Seattle.

It took some years but it worked as planned.

Oh - and my social life in the meantime? I decided not to parade constant “is she going to be my mother” candidates through the house, but instead I spent my weekends when he visited his mother at my local swing club, stocking up on as much orgy-sex as I could to hold me over until the next rare and sporadic time she would take him.

The good news for me, as it will be for you, is that once you are no longer living together you’ll be able to create your own social support structure. You’ll be forced to when you don’t depend on him, and that’s a good thing.

Love and support, kiddo.

Wow. I wish I could say that I don’t see how someone could do that.

Really.

I wish I could.

Instead I say… orange is not your color… and sex is…

This is why some of us try to believe that Karma exists… these things will come back to bite them in the proverbial ass eventually….

but until then…

just think about how much more action your ass is getting lately …

M

Sometimes I am so excited by how cool your life has turned out to be over the last year, and sometimes you ground me in the reality of the other part of your life.

Someone asked you recently about turning your life story into a book. You certainly wouldn’t have to depart too far from real life to develop your characters.

No kidding… real life is so much more hard-hitting than fiction.. and your life tends to hit mine hard (not in the bad way) but in the reminder of what was and what is now (which is as much the opposite of bad as I can explain).

M

I wanted to join your fan club for the great writing.

You know, having read your blog for a while (and I know I don’t actually know you or your STBX), I get the impression that the only way your kids will ever bask in the glow of parental approval from this dork is if you pour gas over him, set it alight and let the kids warm their hands.

(You could just run round in circles, whooping with joy)

I have no words of wisdom. I do have understanding of the feeling of frustration and utter amazement at someone’s self-absorption.

I once researched undetectable poisons. :)

I am going to give some important advice that I have only shared with one other person, so listen up…

Go to the nearest novelty store. Ask them for something called an exhaust whistle. Carefully unwrap the exhaust whistle and place it in the tailpipe of STBX’s car. If he mentions the new noise emanating from his car, tell him you had a friend who had a car that made that noise just before it caught fire. Sit back and watch.

Suddenly the world seems better.

Obviously one of the many reasons he’s your soon-to-be-ex.

As he’s the father of your children (God help them), one can only hope that eventually his head will pop out of his ass, if only because of age-related muscle weakness.

In the meantime, write this stuff down. There’s a book in there somewhere… and don’t forget to laugh.

The rage would be so immense that I’d be THINKING of it even if I didn’t act on it.
Grrrrrr.
AAG, you have the patience of a saint.

oh man
exhaust whistle!!!

rofl

People are strange, but its so fun when they’re complaining about the problem they themselves have.

I originally thought single parenting might be difficult, but I found it waaaaaaaay easier to not have to depend on my ex for anything rather than have these kinds of frustrating episodes.

Life is gonna be sooooo good soon. You will magically have more money than you think possible (it happens to all of us…not sure what time warp it happens in or worm hole it comes out of, but it’s documented….well..not really but it’s true), childcare will fall into place much more easily than now, the house will smell wonderful. Heaven.

Wow thats really sad actually. I could see him not wanting to help you I suppose, but when its about the children I find that a hard thing to swallow. I dont even know this ass hole and I wanna throttle him. I would imagine if I ever split with my wife I would do all I could to see my boys every second that was possible. Hell I know for a fact the only reason we worked through our problems in the first place was due to them, just cannt imagine snubbing them and my responsiblities towards them ever.

I hope there is a point soon for you when you dont have to rely on him period, for care for your children.

How many of your children are your actual biological children that you’ve had with the stbx and not others’ kids that you’ve taken on?

Of course he’s a moron.

Occasionally my stb x is a moron as well. It’s just as well that our son is of an age when he can (and insists on) driving himself places.

He’s not unconcerned about your kids, he’s unconcerned about your schedule. That’s one reason why you’re divorcing him.

Inconvenient? Of course.

Unpredictable? Not.

There’s not really a way to force his hand on this issue. You just have to work around it. With kids there’s going to be (for both of you) a lot of working around going on for some time to come.

You have my sympathies but that’s all I can offer.

Nice new tag line under the banner, by the way.

I spell selfish this way … stbx

Heh…

And the FOOD! Think about how shitty the food is.

Be strong!

*chuckle*