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I’ve decided to write an exhaustive list of all the sexual positions my friend and I have tried.
Why? Why the hell not? Maybe I’ll look back on it when I’m 80 and mourn my lost flexibility.
Would you care to indulge your voyeuristic nature and read along?
Buncha pervs. I knew you would.
- Plain old missionary. As some very wise person once told me, “If you can’t rock it in missionary, you don’t deserve to try any other positions.”
- Missionary with one leg hooked over his elbow.
- Missionary with both legs hooked over his elbows.
- Missionary with both legs hooked over his elbows. My upper arms rest on the bed and my forearms point upward. We hold hands palm-to-palm and I sort of balance his weight on my upper arms. This looks way more complicated in print than it is in real life. Can you picture it?
- Missionary with one leg over his shoulder.
- Missionary with both legs over his shoulders. I love being folded in half.
- Missionary (sort of) with both my legs straight up and very close together.
- Missionary (er…do these still count as missionary?) with my legs spread in a huge “V.”
- Missionary with my legs in butterfly position in front of me. There’s something extra special about having my ankles right in front of my nose.
- Any of these with a couple of pillows beneath my bottom. Extra deep pumpy-goodness!
- Doggie-style with my knees far apart on the bed and him standing on the floor behind me.
- Doggie-style with my knees close together on the bed and him standing with one foot on the bed.
- Doggie-style with my knees very close together and him squatting behind me with both his feet on the bed. He often grabs my shoulders to keep his balance.
- Sort of doggie-style, but with my head pushed down and my ass tilted way up. He grabs my hair and holds on tight. It’s not a thrusting position. It’s more of a holding and coming position. I like this one a lot.
- All of the above doggie-derivatives with him in my bottom instead of in my pussy.
- All of the above doggie-derivatives with him in my bottom instead of in my pussy and with him using a toy on my pussy. Intense enough to make me almost faint.
- X-style, with me on one side and his legs criss-crossed with mine. We need a big bed for this one or someone’s head ends up hanging over the edge.
- On a couch, me kneeling and resting my arms on the back, him either standing behind me or kneeling on the couch.
- Him sitting in an armless chair and me very gently riding him.
- Him lying on the bed and me riding him sitting up.
- Him lying on the bed and me riding him while resting on my forearms.
- Spoon style. I like this one a lot.
- Lying on my stomach with him between my legs, almost lying on top of me.
- Lying on my stomach with him straddling my legs, almost lying on top of me. So comfy.
- Me on my side with him kneeling behind my hips and holding my top leg aloft. I love this one when I’m facing the same direction that his cock leans, because it rubs my g-spot hard. Yummy!
Wow. It’s a longer list than I expected, and I fear it’s not complete.
This list probably doesn’t seem all that impressive if you have been blessed with a life full of healthy sexual adventure. But keep in mind that this is coming from a woman who was told some 18 months ago that her butt was “too big” for any kind of sexual position except girl on top.
That comment makes me smile now.
What have I missed? What should we still try? Any recommendations?

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