let me know when you find the multi-purpose flogger…i could SO use one!!

safe words and specifics are important in such scenes…but i totally understand having my need cunt get in the way.

We have several. Our favourite is a large red suede flogger that we bought in New Orleans. It was around $90, and though a bit pricey it was well worth it. It’s been described as “thumpy”.

We have a small suede flogger that’s more of a travel flogger, I guess you’d say. It’s a little less “thumpy” because it has less mass.

In the Seductions store (across from Northbound Leather) in Toronto we picked up three elastic floggers. These are made from long strands of rubbery elastic. They are a little more “stingy”, though the big blue one is heavy enough to be “thumpy” as well as “stingy”. The mean one is yellow on the end of a black riding crop. That’s definitely “stingy”!

I personally prefer using a paddle. I can paddle someone’s bottom all night long if I had to! The big red flogger is a lot of fun, but it can get tiring. The trick is to let the mass of the flogger do the work.

Of course even this big “thumpy” flogger can sting when I put my arm into it! *grin*

As for negotiating a safe word, just bring up the subject before you start. If the Dom/Domme knows what they are doing, they’ll be happy that you know enough to set boundaries. If they don’t have a clue what you’re talking about or seemed miffed, then you know to end it right there.

A few months ago you weren’t even getting laid! I can’t wait until you get to further explore your dominant side.

As far as all the rules and such, your friend should know you well enough by now to look after your best interests. And really and truly the #1 best way to truly enjoy subspace is to give up the control. I agree that being safe is really important, but the need for all sorts of limits and safe words enter into it when you are seriously into testing your limits and tolerance.

Cool tagline!:-D

D.

http://www.stockroom.com/Cocobola-Handle-Black-Flogger-P1875.aspx

Like stomping so many times or holding a ball you can drop.

… not that everyone uses gags frequently, but some people don’t realize you can’t use a safeword with a cock in your mouth.

That said, I think Red has a point. When it’s sensual play rather than pain-oriented, you’re probably okay without. If you’re not tied up, down, all around, or otherwise restrained in ways that have the potential to cause damage, you’re probably all right. And you were being looked after by someone you trusted.

If you’re looking at moving into a D/s oriented relationship, then working through a BDSM checklist (I can email you a template if you like) so they know your interests, limits etc can be extremely useful.

xx Dee