If you’ve closely followed the instructions given in Part One: How to Have Buttsex…More Than Once–congratulations! You are ready to move on to Part 2.
Eventually your bottom will decide that this buttfucking thing is pretty damn cool. Your bottom will begin sending you little mental greeting cards with messages like “You are the best. I love you. Will you fuck me tonight?” Respond appropriately. Step it up a notch. Find a larger toy that more approximates the size and shape of a penis. This is one of my favorites, but there are a vast number of alternatives scattered across the internets and in sex shops. Choose one that makes your bottom quiver with lust.
At some point, whether it is days, weeks or even months after your first forays into buttplay, you will compare your latest toy to your lover and realize that if you are comfortable with the size of your toy, you will also be comfortable with the size of your lover.
I’m hoping that by this point you have the kind of relationship with your lover where you won’t worry that the world will fall apart if the buttsex goes awry. I had complete confidence in the one person (to date) whom I have allowed to enjoy the pleasures of my bottom; before the buttsex was even under discussion, he’d proven himself to be warm, calm, kind, accepting and all those other lovely characteristics that showed me that he’d accept and even love that part of my body no matter what little tricks it might play on us.
Buttsex seemed–and still seems–far more intimate than vaginal sex. It’s not something I’d do with just anyone. It boils down (for me) to the fear of two things: Pain and poo.
The fear of pain and the fear of poo may make you very cautious when you decide to give your ass. If you have any question about your partner’s ability to deal with either your pain or your poo, you should probably hold off.
When at last your ass begs you to fill it with actual (as opposed to silicone) cock, choose a night when there is utterly no rush. Assemble the necessary supplies and then have fun together. Only after you’ve both gotten completely worked up (and had many orgasms already, if you can) should you think about the butt. Have your partner use a condom. Lube, then lube again, both your behind and his cock. Then add more lube. Really, you can’t have too much.
I’ve preferred buttsex in the doggy-style position because it lets me both relax into the bed and also push back against my partner. I like to be very very still as he gently enters me, a millimeter at a time. Here’s where trust is so important. You must be able to trust that he’ll go as slowly as you need him to, and that he’ll stop if you want him to. If you can’t trust absolutely that he’ll do this, then you’ve got some conversing to do before you lube up, sister.
Have your partner stand behind you and very…very…very slowly nudge his cockhead into your ass and then pause. You will feel extremely stretched when he enters you. You may also feel the need to poo. You almost certainly don’t need to poo; that’s just the confused message your behind is sending to your brain. Breathe out slowly and keep calm. The feeling will pass.
If it hurts for more than a moment, add more lube. Ask your partner to go even slower. If it’s still uncomfortable, congratulate yourselves for a good first effort, clean up, then turn your attention to other fun activities.
Remember…there is no rush. There are no prizes for buttfucking successfully on the first attempt. Just try again another night.
If you can relax with your partner’s cockhead inside of, it’s time to move deeper. Push back gently onto your partner. As the butt-fuckee, you get to control the pace. Really, once your body has accepted his head, it will probably be more than happy to take the rest of his cock.
That’s why you practiced on your own for so long. Remember?
Once you’ve assured yourself that you can take your partner’s entire cock without the world coming to an end, it is time to turn over the responsibility for thrusting to him. You trust that he’ll stop if you ask, right? And that he’ll pay attention for signs of distress on your part, eh?
‘Cause if you have any questions about those two things, you shouldn’t even be thinking about giving him your ass.
If you are enjoying having your butt taken by your partner, experiment by gently tilting your pelvis. This should allow him to hit your gspot harder, which is REALLY REALLY NICE. You can also try slowing down and then squeezing with the same muscles you contract during a Kegel.
He’ll probably love it.
If you get close to coming (I so hope that you do!) you can try pushing out when the orgasm approaches. This may make you gush. Or it might not. Either way, it’ll be a different and interesting sensation for both you and your partner.
Your partner should NOT pull out of you without warning. If he’s ready to pull out, either before or after orgasm, he should do it very very gently. Plan on going twice as slowly as you think you should. Jerking it out will be painful and potentially messy.
The second the cock comes out, it’s nice to have a dark towel nearby for a quick wipe-up and for condom removal. Just a once-over will suffice for now. After you’ve regained your senses and cuddled for a bit, then you can clean up more thoroughly in the bathroom.
The fuckee gets first choice on who goes first.
Once clean, you both must return to bed for additional cuddling. Forgo any discussions of the raw mechanics of what just transpired. You can do that later, after everyone’s emotions have settled down. Just cuddle, and talk, and touch, and maybe move on to more sex.
Or maybe, if you’re both so inclined, it’ll be his turn to experience the pleasures of buttsex.
This kind of thing would make a nice booklet. You know, the kind you sometimes find on your windshield. I know a few cars I’ve love to stick them on.
Hee!
Oooh, is there going to be a Part 3?
Yes, a long night of sex, with the man expending his last erection on a sensual buttfuck, and then lying spent on the bed, ass in the air, as I fasten my strap-on . . .
I prefer the prone position to doggy for anal. I don’t have to concentrate on staying airborne, just on that wonderful stretching of my sphincter. And the rubbing of my clit on the sheet adds to my joy!
I’ve only had one relationship that experimented with this. Seems I just read about it, in fact lol… If I ever decide to tread the relationship waters again, maybe I’ll be fortunate enough to do it again. Booklet? Windshields? Now that’d be funny…
Good Thursday morning AAG,
I use vaginal lube inserts in my bottom prior to anal sex, the kind that are supposed to keep you moist for up to 24 hours…
Lube on my bottom hole, that outside little clenched ring obviously is important just prior to being entered, and as foreplay too !
Bent over the bed face down, with him standing behind me, has been another highly pleasurable as well as easy position to be in when he wants to be in my bottom !
It is lovely to have a partner who is open-minded and playful, who loves sex and is loving to you as well !
Part 3? Do we need a part 3?
:)
any thoughts on avoiding santorum? is it possible to minimize it, or does one simply have to accept the inevitability of it?
Never done it. Most likely never will. I shall just continue to live vicariously through you, AAG!
Q: I am a straight woman who likes getting fucked in the ass. My boyfriend enjoys fucking my ass, so it works out well. Also, my boyfriend and I are both clean, so we don’t have to worry about STDs and I prefer sex without condoms. Who doesn’t? My problem is this: After he shoots a big load of come in my ass, it leaks back out for the rest of the day — along with other, less appetizing substances. It makes quite a mess in my pants, smells bad, and is uncomfortable. I never hear gay men complain about this — and don’t tell me it’s because they’re all so busy practicing safe sex.
Is there anything I can do to avoid this situation — short of using a condom? Is there some trick that I’m not aware of? Some gay man’s secret for taking a big load of come in the ass? —Love The Come, Hate The Mess
A: Anal-sex prep is hashed over in skanky and mainstream sex-advice columns alike: proper hygiene, lengthy foreplay and, for the peggers out there, the procurement of strap-ons. But scant attention is paid to the post-anal-sex issues, like the proper disposal of lube, semen and santorum. Why? Because semen, lube and santorum disposal reminds us of the asshole’s primary function, and so sex advisers tend to gloss over ASP issues. But, at your request, here’s the ancient gay-boy secret: After your boyfriend comes in your ass, LTCHTM, pull your ass off his dick and plop it down on the toilet. Bring a magazine. Then crap it out — crap it all out. Come and lube and santorum that aren’t left in your ass can’t leak out and soil your undies the next day.
from Savage Love… http://www.metrotimes.com/editorial/story.asp?id=9168
oh god aag
that savage love piece is worth a post of it’s own
oh wow.
note to self: find new lover worth trusting. try anal again
What the fuck is “santorum”?
Santorum:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santorum_%28sexual_neologism%29
:)
my wife likes me to pull out of her ass before I shoot if she has to do something the next day (ie work or errands) even if she poops right after it doesnt get all of it out and it still leaks…I oblige gladly just like I fuck her ass gladly.
Y’all realize that all this discussion of anal leakage is probably grossing out the anal newbies out there, right?
:)
I use condoms. So far, no major leakage issues.
Done anal with several different women many times over the years. Sometimes preceded by enemas, to avoid the poo challenge, sometimes not. I have never had them have any problems the next day. So I guess, newbies, it just varies person to person.
Strangely, I don’t keep up with a great deal of gay-oriented journalism :o)
And I’ve never had a girl mention leakage.
My favorite thing (meaning the most evil) about doing anal is that when we’re cuddling later, I know her ass is doing that gentle throbbing thing while the muscles tighten back up. Just that little buttsecks echo, reminding her that she just had her ass fucked >:-)
How does a simple Midwestern housewife know what Santorum is but a worldly older Texan does not?
Odd…
:)
Which way do I tilt the pelvis to have him hit my g-spot? Like a cow (dipping the back) or like a cat (arching the back)?
Thanks for the site! I love the sane discussion of how to have anal sex. The more the merrier!
i have never had any issue with leakage, so perhaps it does all depend on the “fuckee”.
i love this series…it is perfect for newbies.
Tilting…I dunno! Depends on which way he curves. And how you are built. And…the phase of the moon? The relative humidity? I dunno!
:)
These two post were great and if one follows your suggestions closely will have a great experience. We have enjoyed many a buttfuck and look forward to many more. Although we enjoyed our first experiences, they would have been more so with your knowledge.. Happy buttfucking
I just tried anal for the first time last fall, and I LOVE it… I loved it the first time, and have loved it every time since. Even though my BF and I have “normal” sex more often, anal is definitely a regular part of our life now.
I prefer anal in missionary position, especially for the first few times; stick a pillow or two under your butt and take deep breaths. I have had some incredibly powerful orgasms this way! Although the hardest I’ve ever come was when he was in my ass doggystyle, and I had a dildo in my vagina and a vibrator on my clit… Not something you probably want to try the first time you try anal… but definitely worth an attempt for those of you who are more experienced :)
I adore anal play, well lesbian anal play in my case, and I would encourage both women and men to explore the anal erotic, it is so worth it ! I just wanted to mention two things here:
1. Poop; you don’t need to have a full enema, just buy a little rectal washout bulb (pharmacies and sex toy stores). Its a little rubber bulb with a thin little nozzle, holds about 150ml of water. After going to the bathroom fill the bulb with water, insert, squeeze repeat once more, empty. wait 30 mins before any anal play. You will be clean inside for most anal play, unless you go REALLY deep.
2. Anal Massage: my wife does this amazing Yoni massage on my pussy and it works just as well on the anus as well. Candles, soft music, lube and massage oil and your hips raised up on a Liberator (They are so good) wedge to present your bottom better. You have to just totally surrender to the moment and let yourself f fully relax into the massage and after thirty minutes you will be amazed at just how loose and receptive you can get down there as your partners slick fingers slowly open your passage up and when that happens stimulating the g-spot anally goes into a whole other realm.