I intend for 2007 to go down in history as The Year That AAG Systematically and With Extreme Focus Fulfilled Every Last One of Her Sexual Fantasies.
To that end, I’ve been casting about for a willing man to join my friend and me for an evening where I would be the focus of two men, the succulent meat in a boy-boy sandwich, the base of a sexy Eiffel Tower, the creamy filling of a yummy male layer cake.
Emails have been sent off to likely candidates. One begged off on the grounds that he does not do threesomes. Another is currently embroiled in a newly-hatched exclusive relationship.
And the final candidate, who was actually my first choice? He expressed enthusiasm until I clued him in on the identity of my friend. He glanced at the extensive profile information my friend provides on our favorite dating site, but clearly he had eyes only for one small (heh) part of the profile: the picture of my friend’s junk.
It’s a picture taken by your humble narrator, and I have to say that it does make his junk look damn good.
Would you care to listen in to the rest of our conversation?
Him: Holy crap how long is that thing? Will I feel self conscious about my own cock being so small?
Me: Lord no. Your cock is huge! His is…an anomaly! And thankfully, you both know how to use those huge cocks!
Him: But I want to have the biggest one!
Me: Good God, man. You are being invited to a MMF by a hot woman.
*Brief pause. IM silence.*
Me: That would be me!
Him: I know!
Me: You are being invited to a MMF and you are worried that you won’t have the biggest cock in the room???? Do you know how many men would kill to be invited to an MMF?
Him: I know, and really, I don’t care. I figure I have plenty of cock.
Me: You do indeed have plenty of cock.
*Brief pause.*
Him: So come on, how big is his anyway? I know he’s said or you’ve asked. It’s just a curiosity on a guy’s part.
Me: *headdesk*
And the search continues…
I was recently invited to a MFF and was happy, happy to go. And went. And she wasn’t there when I arrived (something came up), so we had to make do (and make do we did!). But, I have to say, I had some body anxiety. I’m not the thinnest rail in the yard and from the picture he sent me of her, well, I was feeling a bit self-conscious.
Did it stop me? No Way!
So, not to give him an excuse, but I guess I can relate a little. Still, he’s an idiot to pass it up just because of penis size. Sheesh!
Eve
Ahem. Hello. My name is, er, Dave. Pick me.
;)
Meh..
I don’t care about the size of the cock in your pussy.
As long as mine is the cock that is plundering your li’l asshole.
In fact, I like the extra tight stretching :D
oh my god
rofl!
i’m sorry but
*hangs head and laughs until tears*
Eve, the thing is that his penis is huge! He’s got nothing to worry about?
Hey Dave. How YOU doin’? Can you fuck me good, baby?
Gadfly–are you volunteering to be the third? :)
I always did fancy a woman of infinite horizons.
aag, I love you. Seriously, that’s the funniest post I’ve read in forever.
That is a riot.. but, please, don’t thunk the desk too hard, we need you healthy and perky, in order to report faithfully on your progress through the list of fantasies.
Every last one? I’m seriously impressed!
But what will you do NEXT year? Bet you’ll think up some new sexual fantasies by then…..
The male ego is a weird, fragile thing. But you did an awesome job of shoring him up. He’d be an idiot to pass up the chance.
Good luck in your search!
I’m determined to make all my fantasies TO DATE come true.
:)
Well, if his size isn’t really the issue, then he’s using his anxiety as an excuse. What an idiot! Maybe he has a thing about being naked with boys. Some guys are like that.
Good luck in the search. I can’t wait to hear about it (the party, that is)!
Eve
Make it real interesting.
Invite someone [ahem... I would fit the bill] who has a huge fist as the third?
Peter,
I’ll call you.
:)
It’s just that you have to understand guy etiquette. Once it is proven and obvious that he has a bigger dick than I do — I have to beat him up. It’s just the rules :o)
Always been one of my fantasies as well… though I’m hoping for doing it with two bi guys. Most of the straight guys I’ve talked to have been “it’s okay as long as I don’t have to touch him in any way.”
hey fluffycat certain kinds of touching I would be fine with…just dont ask me to suck him off or anything. maybe that’s along the same lines as most other strait guys you’ve asked but eh that’s my prefference.
as far as the whole MMF experience with a guy who has a MUCH bigger cock than me…it was fan-fucking-tastic.
on a side note tho do inform your size concious friend that bigger doesnt always mean BETTER….just different.
oh last thing…I would volunteer but after being gone from my own nympho wife for 15 months she would require it to turn into a MMFF…tho if you’re interested……
I count myself lucky to have been in a couple MMF threesomes, and the bread in several ‘boy-boy sandwiches.’ It’s a wonderful experience and I count myself thankful to participated (both the times when the other guy was also bi, and when he was just open minded and straight). For the record, I believe my cock was the smaller one but we never stopped to measure (we had better things to do, duh).
With our screwed up culture that so discourages male-male contact, even to the point of accidentally glancing at another cock, I can’t say this kind of insecurity really surprises me. It’s a real shame because it’s the same homophobia that makes it so hard for me to meet bi guys (and I prefer bi people in general)…
Some guys just don’t get it….
I imagine MMF is a harder sell than MFF. But I run in pretty vanilla circles..
you know what’s funny?
the best lover i’ve ever had had one of the smaller cocks i’ve ever had
some boys are silly
If you need a third or a rematch with a fella perfectly at ease with his size and just happen to be in Southern California…
Too bad I don’t live in Michigan because my one inch wonder and I would volunteer. Of course, my girlfriend would want to join in which might even be more fun.
Let me know if you and your man-toy ever get to SC. I’d be glad to be your huckle-berry.
Good post aag, and I wish you the best of luck finding the third!!! Looks like there are a lot of volunteers here. ;)
p.s.- Things have changed focus a bit over at my place. Come stop by sometime. :D
What a silly boy to be endowed and still worried. (Does he drive a “compensatory” car also?)
Lord knows I would not let such thngs get in the way of accepting such an offer.
You’d think that getting a third for an MMF would be easy, but my wife and I have found it ain’t so.
We met someone online who seemed interested, but chickened out as we started to get more serious about it.
We met someone _else_ online. We had phone sex together (okay, my wife and I were together, he was on the phone), and we were getting along splendidly… then _he_ disappeared as it came closer to “the time”.
In a couple of years of looking, we haven’t had much luck at all finding a partner.
Sad but true . . . I’ve had more FFF, and way more FMF, than MMF trysts. And Hardin is not at all averse to the concept.
Men have such fragile egos about their cocks. I don’t know how many times I need to write this, guys, but size really isn’t that important, and a guy with a big cock who doesn’t know how to use it properly can be painful!
So, Him, if you’ve got a good, hard 7″ or more cock, you’ve got more than enough to satisfy a woman, even if she’s also got a 9″ or more whopper to play with!
…about the MM part of MFM…
I’ve grown and changed much during the past, say, 10 yrs about my ideas about sex, tnx mostly to the Internet. I’m pretty much in the “anything goes between consenting adults” camp now.
I was only one of nearly a half dozen boys, less than 10 yrs old who got together in numbers between 2 and 6 to “play” with their (own) dicks. There was no envy, after all, we each had one, eh?
Later, near and after puberty, I and a freind used every excuse for a yr or so to play with our toys together, mostly our own but expanding also to doing each other. The sole interest was the dick, secondarily to make each other cum. This did not lead to any feelings of homosexuality whatsoever.
So, while I don’t like watching two guys kiss, for example, I think I could do nearly anything else with a strange guy in bed with a chick. Whatever you want, dear!
But didn’t you know? Clearly we only like teh menz for their giant penises! Not only that, but we totally judge them on whether or not they have the biggest penis in the room…rather than whether they have the most talented tongue, hands, or sense of rythym.
Any guy who pulls the size card on me will not be entering any of my naughty bits. Rather, he will be assigned an essay about the false importantance of penis size in the male perspective…before we can get it on.
I do have a strap-on and a Feeldoe you know.
We could really make this interesting ;)
Her
GrandPaBobby: I’m in the same camp as you! I guess I classify myself as bi-curious. It’s weird, I have no real desire to kiss a guy, but god I’d like to suck him… :-)
But even without the MM part of an MFM, we can’t find anyone! It’s very frustrating.
Hey! There’ll be no calling a guy’s package “junk.” That’s one term I truly wish had never come into use like that.
i have to agree with cherrie on this…i totally believe that size does not matter as long as you know how to use it to please you woman.
i am literally shaking my head because he wants to have the biggest cock in the room.
instead, he should be flattered to be invited by you!
My email invite must’ve gotten lost in the ether :-) Resend it would you..