Lubeless, pre-1991: I scoffed at lube. I though only women who were uninterested in sex (and therefore not making the proper natural lube) needed lube.
Come on, I was young. I didn’t know anything then.
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KY Tube #1, circa 1991 – 1997: My friends gave me an economy-size tube of KY Jelly as a gag gift before I was set to meet a man for a long weekend.
We didn’t use the lube. I blamed the inevitable chaffing on my inexperience. He was unaffected. I married him anyway. The lube mouldered in a bedside drawer, entirely unused.
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KY Tube #2, circa 1997 – 2006: Even after several years of marriage and the birth of my first child, I remained cluelessly lubeless.
When my postpartum check-up rolled around, I asked my doctor why it hurt so much to have intercourse. He asked if we used lube. “Of course not!” I answered. “I don’t need lube!”
He gave me a funny look, presented me with another economy-size tube of KY Jelly (wrapped in a brown paper bag for discretion’s sake) and ordered me to use it.
A couple of times I tried to use it, but the consistency and taste of KY were just awful. The husband hated it. I abhorred how sticky the stuff felt.
So we plodded on, having mostly-dry sex (when we managed to have sex at all). I did not consider that there might be alternatives to KY.
Were there alternatives to KY in 1997?
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Lube Epiphany, late 2006: Somehow I acquired a tiny bottle of KY Warming Jel. I don’t recall the circumstances of the acquisition. I experimented with using it during masturbation.
What a revolution. My fingers slid over my pussy instead of rubbing it raw.
I needed to know more.
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Lube Epiphany Continues, early 2007: The occasional lover arrived armed with a small tube or bottle of something. I became less and less shy about asking for its use–its liberal use. I scrutinized labels whenever I could to find out what I liked.
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Water-Based Lube Experimentation, late Winter – early Spring 2007: I began looking at websites and sex toys for Jane’s Guide. Babeland sent along various types of lubes they wanted to see featured on Jane’s.
I got to try a healthy handful of different varieties, noting their subtle differences in quality, texture and taste.
For example, Maximus feels great, especially for butt-play, but you wouldn’t want to taste it. Entice doesn’t taste bad and it’s beautifully packaged, but it’s a bit thin. The flavored Sliquids are fairly thick, have pleasingly subtle flavors, and dry cleanly.
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The First Taste of Heaven, Silicone Lube, Spring 2007: I read this impassioned love-letter to silicone lube; at the very same time, I tested a toy that came with a tiny bottle of silicone lube.
I was instantly hooked.
Silicone lube is so slippery, so rich. You can keep fucking yourself for hours with a butt-toy if you’d like. Hours, I tell you!
Not that I tried. I’m just theorizing.
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Fisting Takes a Lot of Lube, Late Spring 2007: So does butt-sex.
My friend and I went though vast quantities of lube. It wasn’t unusual for one small bottle to last only through one or maybe two sessions. The idea of having sex without lube? Unthinkable.
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Silicone Surfeit, mid-June 2007: Armed with a brand-new bottle of premium silicone lube, I met my friend for a long session of fun. We used the lube for hand-jobs. For fisting. For vaginal sex. For butt-sex.
We showered.
We next employed the lube for a long slow back massage. Then a drawn-out hand massage, which ended in some surprisingly hot finger-sucking.
Which moved right back into another hand-job. Then more sex, only this time with hair-pulling.
Then there was some erotic photography, with a hand-job given for the sake of fluffing. Then more sex, with more hair-pulling.
Can you imagine the state of my hair at the end of this? Sex-hair, full of silicone lube?
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Thus ends this short history told in lube. I can foresee many more raucous episodes where I end up with a happily lube-drenched body.
And now that I’m done writing this history, I’m going to attempt to take care of a small problem with my camera. The photos I’ve taken over the past few days look slightly blurry.
Silicone lube on the lens will do that, I guess.
Thanks for the timeline. I’d never used any lube until my current girlfriend brought it with her vibrators to my house. We’ve been using astro-glide but the stickiness and lack of longevity is a bit annoying.
So does the new stuff taste ok or do you use something else for those times you bounce back and forth between having oral and vaginal sex.
I’m a real big fan of licking a little, then intercourse a little and back and forth for longer intervals until I can really get my partner off. Bad Tasting lube would put a bit of a tamper on that fun.
Love your blog,
Tallguy
LOVELY!
I have never tried silicone lube
My favorite lube thing is a heating pad under a pan of baby oil … hot wet oil massage, rubbing … oily body slithering against oily body …
But, in fact, one of my eager partners said it best when we were spent. “race you to the shower”
*chuckle*
Yep, Vaseline around the haze filter was how Bob Guccione did all those soft-focus shots for Penthouse back in the day . . .
I’m still on K-Y Sensual Mist as my lube of choice. Like you, I found the regular K-Y jelly repulsive, and didn’t care for the free samples we were getting from Adam & Eve when we bought adult films. I have not tried silicone, but I should because the credentials and experience of the person recommending it are amazingly comprehensive!
P.S.–Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird to see a photo of Geico’s Gecko staring at me as I type here?
i have to admit i do not use lube all the much.
one time my gay best friend recommended a lube for me. let’s just say i think there is a difference between anal lube and vaginal lube.
so, i will have to look at your recommendations considering i rubbed myself raw the other weekend. ouch and took 5 long torturous day to recover. that sucks for a nympho!
oh to answer Cherrie’s Geico Gecko thing….yeah that is a little strange he is starring at me on a sex blog. at least he can’t see me naked.
*wink*
I love eatable lubes! I like to switch back and forth between fucking and sucking and I hate having that ruined by a gross tasting lube….
PS is it weird that the Geico gecko turns me on? LOL
You’re making me laff again – lovely words!
Yeah, that gecko’s creeping me out.
The Sliquid flavored lubes are actually really nice. You wouldn’t want to use them as ice cream toppings, but they are not the least bit objectionable for the fucking-sucking-fucking-sucking thing.
Geez, I wrote a review of them on Jane’s. Don’tcha guys read those?????
:)
And yes, the silicone lubes I’ve tried taste fine. Truly not objectionable when licked off a cock. Or fingers.
I’m going to have to get my hands on some of that silicone flavored stuff real soon!
I’m a devoted lube user, and just recently discovered the joys of Liquid Silk (thanks, early2bed!), which is better than Astroglide so far.
Experimenting is half the fun;)
there’s only one problem with silicone lubes and that’s that you can’t use them on silicone toys.
freaking water based lubes SUCK.
that said, wet platinum is a delightful silicone with basically no flavour :)
The makers of some high-quality silicone toys (ie Tantus and I *think* Jollies) say that you can use the high-end silicone lubes on their toys…as long as you do a patch-test first to make sure it’s ok.
The gecko is cute. :) I’ve tried a few lubricants, but my mate of 10+ years doesn’t like the stuff ever except for anal play (which we don’t do much anymore). So, our supply was quickly used in the beginning and now… not so much. :(
But, I’ll try the silicon stuff since I do use it occasionally when I’m all alone and need of something inside…
Lube definitely rocks.
Honey too. heh
I used to tell my daughters that if they needed lube, he’s not doing it right. And now I couldn’t be more wrong so I take their advice! And anything is better than the Redi-Whip (or honey? Right, Him?) we used in the 70s. Ha! And despite what you see in Bull Durham and Pretty Woman, always remember… water is not a lubricant.
I had a girlfriend in college who suffered from “female impotence”. No lubrication. She would orgasm like a wild pig, but without lube — neither of you would be up for round 2
O_O
its not a sex lube per se but bath and bodyworks has a wide assortment of massage oils that I have found work GREAT depending on the one you get the taste while not the best thing in the world it can be at least palatable.
oh and the Geko freakin rocks
Well now then…now I feel the need to wander over and order me some silicone lube. Admittedly the thing about not being able to use them with silicone toys has kept me from getting any heretofore since I have been receiving mostly silicone toys for review from EdenFantasys (thanks again, by the way!!!). I hadn’t thought about a patch test tho… learn something new everyday ;)
Patch test it on the bottom flange of the toy, please. You’ll know right away if there’s an issues, as you’ll have a little sticky patch.
i guess i better get shopping…..i can safely say i have never used any sort of lube….perhaps, i need to play more! lol
AAG, seems from your timeline you have gone to silicone lubes only….
… do I read you right?
… of course that means no silicone toys, UNLESS you test each lube/toy combo first.
Have you tried massage oils, like “god hates raiders fans” suggests? … for the taste…
No, I still use water-based lubes.
I have not tried massage oils specifically for taste. Are you suggesting that I sacrifice my body and do a taste test so as to satisfy your curiosity?
*sigh*
Heavy is the burden…
hehe, heavy is the fruited vine that would deign to distribute wisdom, nay, perfect lube to overflowing down to our pitiful lot.
and speaking of lot, send a lot of lots over!
Further, may we easy your lubricious burden? We volunteer to dip you in massage oil and lick, nibble, taste, smell, feel, rub, poke, prod and otherwise test said oils. All in the name of science of course.
Ok, Ok, lust too, but do we really have to admit that last bit?
I have used Maximus for years, lick first, then lube.
But…what if you lick then fuck then lick then suck then fuck then lick then fuck then lick…
:D
thank-you for the treatise on lubricant
i was unaware of the existence of silicone lube
i have only used KY and some warming oil in the past
i will be trying the silicone
Yeah spit only goes so far in the battle against air-drying even the most drenched girl… I’ve never experienced lube but it might not be so bad because honestly my cock damn near needs it to avoid chaffing. lol Thanks for the Chronolubogical Report. ;-)
Chrololubogical Report…heh!
This is great! They need to knock those crappy “A Baby Story” and “A Wedding Story” off Lifetime for “A Lube Story!” I would watch that!!!