Oooh, for once, I don’t have a big-ass loud-mouthed opinion.

I’m all about not imbuing words with unnecessary power. I’m also all about getting past the past.

Signed…

Scrambled!

XOXO

Chuck

Just make sure you don’t say that to someone who actually has daughters. “Cause that would freak ME right out.

Luv.

I understand what you were trying to do and I hope those words hold positive memories for you now.

you know that’s my one major beef with society today, no one teaches kids, little girls especially, that no is a word they have a RIGHT to say. it’s the hardest word to learn to say and the most important.

congratulations to you for pushing your boundaries. i did that with flogging when i had myself tied up and flogged. it was a very interesting experience but i’ve chosen not to do it again because there’s just too much weirdness for me with regard to the beatings i got from my dad. (never anything sexual but he hit harder and with more rage than any parent should)

and no, my story isn’t oprah worthy either, but it’s still mine…. just like yours is unique to you but still important.

thanks for sharing.

But I wanted to answer T, who said is he saying he likes incest?

T, incest, in a sexual fantasy sense, is akin to rape/non-consent in a fantasy sense; people who have rape fantasies and not *wanting to be raped*; they’re getting off on the taboo, the inherent wrongness, the fantasy version where rape isn’t rape, it’s just an incredibly dirty fuck.

So ‘incest fantasy’ isn’t ‘incest’ in the real world sense.

All that said, ‘daddy’ goes way beyond incest fantasy. Daddy is one of those power words. Daddy represents power, protection, control. It describes in one word an entire power dynamic. There’s an entire spectrum of ‘Daddy/boy’ relationships in gay culture, that has little or nothing to do with incest, but everything to do with internal relationship power structure.

Calling a man ‘daddy’ in bed is like a more loving, less silly version of ‘sir’ or ‘master’.

The other reason words like that are hot in because the invoke an inherent sense of ‘dirtiness’; the same reason swearing in bed can be hot, or implications of rape. The vague sense of the ‘wrong’ and ‘dirty’ (which is highly personal) brings a particular sexual character to the bedroom. Hearing a full grown woman whisper in a little-girly voice ‘fuck me daddy’ or “no, no, please don’t’ – the vague sense of wrongness is what makes it erotic.

Now, not everyone responds. And hearing a woman who doesn’t mean it try to do ‘daddy’ just for me isn’t really very hot unless her discomfort is the point of the exercise (sometimes getting someone doing something in bed that makes them uncomfortable, assuming consensuality, is the erotic charge). But for ‘fuck me daddy’ to get me, personally, she has to mean it. She has to find saying it hot, herself, or just forget it.

My favorite flip-flop of the ‘daddy’ dynamic is a particularly wonderful femme-dom friend of mine who likes to tie men up and hurt them; she’s particularly fond of doing this to a man while calling him ‘daddy’. Now, I’m no submissive, but this image is just fucking hot, because it sounds so inherently perverse.

Perversion, or the sense of such, pushes buttons for a lot of us. In fantasy, the worse it is, the hotter it gets.

So never assume ‘daddy’ means incest.

I hope you know that I applaud you and support you in virtually all you do. AND yes absolutely, do what you wish and what you need to do to experience the life that you deserve. Decide for yourself what you need and what you want.

BUT, please take into consideration that phrase and what it usually means or relates to.

… it’s just not something that makes me comfortable. It’s definately too close to “the wrong thing”… for me it is.