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The first step is always the same: I delete his name from my IM program. If I’m angry, I’ll delete it from the IM address book, but mostly I’m satisfied only to remove it from my friends’ list.
Next, I delete his emails, or at least archive them. If one email in particular annoys me, I’ll save it as evidence of his foolishness, just in case my heart weakens. Later, much later, I’ll delete his address from my email program.
With a few quick beeps from the keypad, his name and number are gone from my phone.
The first day, I grumble with unfettered abandon. I grumble loudly, at least inside my own head. My friends are treated (treated, ha) to my tale of woe. I look back over the course of the relationship, however brief it might have been, in an effort to see what I did wrong, because it would be so much easier if every relationship ended because I did something wrong. I wish every relationship ended because I did something wrong; I’d only have to change that thing I did wrong and then everything would be just fine.
I wish it worked that way.
Often, the first night’s sleep is interrupted by vivid dreams. I wake up sweaty and irritated that I’m behaving so very foolishly. I wake up irritated at myself for being weak. I wake up a lot.
The next day is almost always better.
If I’ve been given photos, I delete them. Maybe I’ll read through the emails again, just because I’m masochistic like that. Maybe I’ll grumble some more to my friends. But usually the second day is better.
It’s on the second day that I remember something I read many years ago about pharmaceutical companies. They are never content with the drug that’s doing well now. In a few short years, a generic version will be available and the original company’s profits will sharply decline. Constant research and planning take place to make sure that there’s always some new drug coming to market, and another one waiting for FDA approval, and another in human trials, and another in animal trials, and another in lab tests, and on backwards. It’s called a pipeline, and every pharmaceutical company wants its investors to know what’s in their pipeline; a robust pipeline means an uninterrupted flow of cash for years to come.
Of course, having one non-generic on the market at a time would be deadly for any pharmaceutical company. If something goes wrong with that one drug, they are sunk. They need several good drugs on the market at once. Dozens, if possible, treating a wide range of symptoms and diseases.
It’s like a harem of drugs.
On the second day, I remember my pipeline. I remember my harem. I recall that I’ve learned my lesson from the drug companies. I’ve got things ticking along in research and development. I’ve got more than one drug out there on the market.
In short, I’ve got options. I’ve got backups. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Even if I didn’t have a pipeline I’d be fine.
