Dear Naughty Bits,
Hi down there!
I’ve been asked to write a letter to you. I know we don’t talk much (although I think about you all the time), so I thought this would be a good time to pass along some appreciation to you for a job well done.
Thank you!
I’d give you a holiday bonus, if I could, although I’m fairly certain that what you’d really appreciate couldn’t actually be purchased in any store. Believe me, I’m working on getting us laid, really!
A few special notes to some of my especial favorites:
Ovaries, I love you two. You served me well in producing a delightful if somewhat surly child so many years ago. It’s unfortunate that you’ll never fulfill your evolutionary destiny again, but hey, I know you’re still chugging away each month when that sudden stabbing pain reminds me of your existence. I like it. I’ll miss it when it fades. Not yet, please.
My dear gorgeous fallopian tubes. Um, sorry about that clamping thing we went through a couple years back. That must have hurt. Sorry.
Vagina, I love you honey, and I’m sorry that it’s been such a sad year for you, what with the lack of penetration and all. Yes, I know, getting fucked once this year was abysmal! Quit yelling at me!
Greedy pussy.
Sweet little clit, we’ve come a long way this year, haven’t we? Those orgasms we’ve been sharing, damn. I’m continually impressed at how much you can take and still want more. If this continues, I can’t even imagine how much it will take to satisfy you five years down the line. In fact this pretty much terrifies me. Nevertheless, clit, you rock.
So Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays down there, naughty bits. I love you!
Sincerely,
AAG
ps–Sorry about the Hitachi thing.
